Kindness is essential. You never know what life has in store for you if you don’t treat people with love and care. I was given up for adoption. My biological siblings are my brother and sister. In my adolescent years, I had some troubles and wasn’t the perfect kid, but my brother was also a bit crazy. My “siblings” have always given me more problems because I’m the adopted one!
When my father became ill a few years ago, I returned home to assist him and my mother. I helped with the bills, took care of Dad, the dogs, cooked every day, cleaned, and worked full-time myself, all while trying to be as helpful as possible. I even offered to pay the rent, but my mother declined. Cut to me having a car accident going to pick up dad’s meds and dad and mom buying me a used car so I could keep taking dad to appointments and as a thank you for all the help.
Well, my siblings came for that Xmas, heard about the car, and freaked out. They said I didn’t deserve anything and that I was using mom and dad. My brother cornered me and said as soon as dad passed I had a month to move out and “stop leeching” off mom or else.
Dad passed shortly after that Xmas and I began planning my move and mom was really upset. She kept pushing me to stay but in the back of my head I had my brother’s threat and just didn’t feel comfortable staying. I ended up getting a place just up the street so I could still help her.
After I moved I ended up getting really lucky financially. I was within a year of renting and able to buy a house near mom and have been doing well for myself. Last year my mom’s sister who also was also recently widowed came to live with her and brought her two grandkids.
She is the guardian so my mom’s house is full and she’s happy. I help out and watch the kids a lot and still do most of the house maintenance stuff so I’m over a lot. On one of my visits, my mom and aunt were discussing what to do because my brother needed to move home since his wife kicked him out.
My mother was grateful when I offered to get the kids’ bunk beds and help relocate them into one room. My brother contacted a week later to ask if he could just live with me because he didn’t want to share a house with two children.
I have a spare room, but I’m not interested in sharing it with him. He’s been treating me at least ten years and never says anything kind behind my back, primarily when I was in high school and suffering. He has made it clear that he does not care about my family.
He’s said he doesn’t want me at our mother’s funeral or in her will (I don’t want anything from her and never ask for anything she just offers things sometimes). The animosity is palpable. I would offer to take in one of the kids but they are young and need to be with their caretaker so I think he just needs to suck it up and stay with my mom.
My mom knows how he is to me and would never ask me to take him in, but my aunt is confused why I wouldn’t offer that as it makes sense and another person in my mom’s house will make it cramped. Some friends are saying after all my mom is done for me I should suck it up and let her son my “brother” stay with me but I really don’t want to.