Why This Sister-In-Law Comes To Their Doorstep Telling They Don’t Deserve To Be Parents?

My sister (35f) and her husband (37m) have been struggling with infertility since they got married 12 years ago. They’ve tried absolutely everything, from medical to spiritual, but unfortunately, nothing works. Now that she’s approaching her late 30s, they’re starting to look into adoption, but it’s also been slow going, since their financial condition isn’t exactly stable from multiple rounds of fertility treatments they went through.

I can only imagine the struggle, and I sympathize with her, but the stress this situation is bringing her and her husband honestly puts a strain on our relationship. My husband and I (both 30) lost our best friends, Mason, and his wife, Kate, two weeks ago in a horrible car accident. They left behind their son Pete, who isn’t even two yet!

It was so sudden and so heart-wrenching. We’re still grieving, which lowers our contact with a lot of people, including my sister and BIL. Our main concern right now is ourselves and Pete, whose custody has come to us because we’re both his godparents, actively engaged in Pete’s life since his birth, and because Mason and Kate have neither left a Will nor have immediate living relatives who can take him in.

We’ve decided to adopt Pete as soon as we can stomach the process. My husband and I never planned on having kids, and even if we did, this is absolutely not the way we want to go about it. The situation is far from ideal, but we’re starting the adoption process yesterday, for Pete’s safety if nothing else. We broke the news to our extended families and friends, letting them know that my husband and I won’t be very available for a little longer because of this.

My sister and BIL, I’m sure, will have something to say about it. I’m anticipating a few furious texts or voicemails. I didn’t anticipate them to show up on our doorstep crying about how “unfair” it is that we were given everything we wanted and that we didn’t deserve to be parents since we didn’t have to go through what they did.

My hubby has never been that enraged before. His natural demeanor is kind and gentle, but recent occurrences have tested our patience. We ejected them from our porch, and I informed my sister before she went that because our sorrow bothers her so much, I wouldn’t want her anywhere near me or my family.

I know she made a big deal out of it, and now everyone is talking about us. We switched off our phones so we wouldn’t know who was cursing us and who wasn’t. I’m aware that some did or are doing so. We can’t trust ourselves to be objective because we’re both in agony and grieving. Is it possible that we went too far?

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