Amanda and I worked at the same shoe store when I was seventeen. We had the same goofy sense of humor. And I knew I loved her right away. But she was so beautiful, and I was on the bigger side. So I didn’t think I’d interest her in that way. But we ended up becoming great friends. We’d go on nice dates. I’d show her my favorite spots in the city.

It was almost like having a girlfriend except that we never kissed. I certainly had my chances. There would be these times when we were close together, and things would get really quiet– but I’d always freeze up. And the longer we remained friends, the harder it became to make a move.

Eventually, both of us started dating other people and we began to drift apart. I think there was a jealousy thing involved. Our banter became more targeted. We’d make fun of each other’s partners. And eventually, we stopped speaking altogether. I ended up marrying my girlfriend and we had a beautiful daughter named Scout.

But things didn’t work out, and two years later we got divorced. Not long afterward I got a random call from Amanda. We talked about our friendship, and what had happened. And I ended up writing this long-winded email about how much I loved her. We agreed to go to my friend’s wedding together. But this time It was unquestionably a date. We had our first kiss the moment I stepped off the plane.

Scout had come with me, and of course, I was worried about how they’d get along. But it felt like they’d known each other forever. The first time we crossed a street, Scout reached for Amanda’s hand instead of mine. It was magical. And a few months later we all moved in together. There wasn’t a ton of money, but things were going well. Amanda was ‘all in’ as a stepmother.

And since I was sharing custody, we also had some space to be a new couple. But then one day I got a call from Scout’s mom. She told me: ‘I’m not coming to pick her up. I can’t do this. I’ll sign the paperwork.’ I walked downstairs like I’d seen a ghost. I was so scared for Scout.And I was terrified it would be too much for Amanda. But when I gave her the news, she didn’t hesitate for a second.

She just gave me a hug, and said: ‘We’re gonna do this.’ When Amanda came back into my life, I tried not to let myself get too excited. Because I knew things were different now. Being in a relationship is hard enough. But being parents is a whole new level of stress—especially for a new couple. Scout was going through a lot of emotions when her mother left, so it was a lot of work.

There were some late nights. And she developed attachment issues, so dropping her off at school was heartbreaking. We had lots of doctor’s appointments and therapy appointments. On top of everything else we were paying a mortgage, and trying to send Scout to the best preschool we could afford. Then the pandemic hit and I lost my job. I was afraid it would all be too much.

I only hoped that the strength of our friendship would see us through and that the hardship of parenting Scout would not separate us. However, the opposite occurred. Our shared interest in Scout brought us together. She’s our go-to person. Amanda and she are best friends. To be honest, it’s extremely ‘ladies vs boys’ in our house.

They keep a lot of secrets, including a twenty-minute bedtime routine that has nothing to do with me. They are singing a Spanish song. Then they execute the ‘dream transfer,’ when they press their foreheads together. Sometimes I think they love each other more than I do. I wouldn’t even call it bittersweet. It’s wonderful that my daughter has found someone who makes her feel comfortable and complete.

I’d always planned to marry Amanda. I never had the money for a ring, but we discussed it freely from the start. Her sole need was that ‘Scout be present when you propose.’ I eventually finished it two weeks ago. I’d saved up enough money for a ring and planned a picnic for us. We put Scout off at my parents’ place that morning, simply to throw Amanda off guard.

Our entire group of friends and family met at the park. I even hired some photographers to document the occasion. But that wasn’t the pleasant surprise I’d hoped for. Scout came sprinting up with flowers in her hand as soon as she saw us approaching. She handed them to Amanda, hugged her tightly, and said, ‘Today’s the day, Mom!’