This is at the root of our deepest fears: “I am not good enough.” So many of our actions, reactions, and perceptions are based on this lie, which has plagued the human race since the dawn of time—particularly among girls. We want to write an open letter to ex — and then move on. But it’s not always that easy. We’ve all heard the cliches “be unique,” “just be yourself,” and so on, but when people point out our flaws, it still cuts like a knife…

Brittany Lynn’s Shane is all too aware of this. Her boyfriend used to nitpick everything about her, calling her “ridiculous, tacky, and ugly”…and other things. She let him dictate everything about her, from the length of her hair to the size of her waist. Even though she did everything she could to please him, her boyfriend dumped her for a “prettier” girl. Brittaney initially blamed herself, but something changed her mind—and it’s lighting up the Internet in the best way.

She decided to share an eye-opening letter she wrote to her boyfriend on Facebook, and it’s pretty incredible. Read her viral post’s powerful words, as well as the images that tell her story, here: “You always said I didn’t look good with long hair and that you preferred short-haired girls.” “As a result, I kept my hair above my shoulders at all times.” “When I dyed my hair red while we were together, you laughed at me and told me I looked ridiculous.”

So I dyed it blonde again a week later.” You were always pointing out when I wore too much makeup. (I usually wear wing eyeliner and mascara) So I just stopped wearing it.” You said tattoos and piercings were tacky and unattractive. And every time you saw it, you’d try to take out my belly button ring. So I removed my piercings and decided not to get any more tattoos.” “You pointed out every time I appeared to have gained weight.”

As a result, I began eating less frequently. You pointed out every flaw in me. As a result, I lost all of my confidence. I did everything in my power to be what you desired. I followed all of your instructions. It was still insufficient. You abandoned me for a younger, more attractive woman. Someone you could shape and mold into whatever you desired. As you attempted to do with me. And, until recently, I blamed myself for everything that happened. You also blamed me.

But, eventually, I began to see the truth. “You weren’t out of my league at all.” I was done with yours. I wasn’t the one who wasn’t up to your standards. You were the one who didn’t measure up. You were unable to accept me for who I was. I took you exactly as you were. So here I am now, a few months later. My hair has grown past my shoulders. My hair is a bright red color. I recently got a new tattoo. Several new piercings. I began wearing makeup again.

I weigh 135 pounds and eat whatever I want whenever I want. My stretch marks are still visible. And I’ve finally regained my confidence. When I look in the mirror, I finally catch sight of myself. It’s difficult for me to admit this and admit that I became so vulnerable because of one guy. Something I used to say would never happen. Even thinking about how low I got is humiliating. But what gives me the courage to speak out about this is the fact that I overcame it and am now back to being who I truly am.”