I didn’t want a third child; a mother’s account of an unexpected pregnancy captivated the network.

Each woman’s pregnancy is an individual experience. What if this pregnancy was unplanned and not the first? Kristen Helmer, a mother of three, described how she found out she was expecting her third child, how she felt during the nine months, and how this unexpected development affected her relationships with her extended family. “Impossible. That was only after I found out I was pregnant. I sobbed and collapsed on the ground shortly afterward.

They weren’t, however, happy tears. Instead, I was overcome with rage, uncertainty, and terror. I didn’t plan on getting pregnant, you see. We already had a 6-year-old daughter and a 6-month-old baby, so I thought our family was complete. My husband wanted a third child, and I was ready to talk about it with him at the time. But not right now, because we’ve had a lot happen in the last six months, including countless infant difficulties that tested our marriage’s strength and financial issues that…

We didn’t need any more problems in the form of a child. To say I was surprised by the pregnancy is an understatement. My oldest daughter was easy to conceive, but the second child proved difficult. He refused to sleep, refused to take the breast, and eventually developed colic. In a nutshell, he was a difficult child. Because my husband and I were both exhausted, we argued about who should get up at night to comfort the child.

Things abruptly changed after a few months of this. My husband and I spent a long weekend together as the baby began to sleep better and I was able to return to work.
and then this pregnancy test. “Mmm…,” he murmured when I told him. Hello? Do we now have a real family? I cursed at him while sobbing, convinced he did it on purpose. Throughout the next two months, I felt almost every emotion.

I initially resisted going to the doctor, kept my illness hidden from others, and flatly refused. I was furious. I was enraged with God because I believed he was playing a cruel joke on my husband and me, accusing him of being careless, so I became pregnant. Then the guilt set in. Many of my friends had difficulty getting pregnant. I, not they, felt bad about being pregnant.

I was terrified that this child would jeopardize our already strained marriage or deprive my other children of the love they so desperately needed. I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to adequately care for my three children. Eight months later, my second daughter, my third child, was born. 4 pounds of perfection! I’m not going to pretend that my life has suddenly become simple or uncomplicated.

However, I will admit that I believe I should have had three children. My youngest daughter has never been a greater source of joy and light in our family. Every time I see my nearly 2-year-old son tickle her heel, bottle-feed her, or wrap a blanket around her, my heart melts with love. My oldest child is now eager to help me around the house.

My marriage has also grown stronger. My husband and I developed a stronger sense of teamwork, improved communication, and shared our emotions.
I often think back on the day I found out I was expecting my third child. I don’t regret my initial feelings. They really did exist.

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