A partner that makes you feel horrible about yourself does not belong in your life; you must get your life in order and go on! However, sometimes the fear of loneliness outweighs the quest of happiness, and we remain in a relationship for much too long. Even if it makes us unhappy. A poor relationship is difficult to break apart from, but in this instance, the man was pushed to the point of no return. He posted about his problem on a Reddit forum and received help from thousands of strangers who read it.On August 3rd, my stepdaughter will get married.
For the past six months, wedding planning has dominated the majority of her and her mother’s lives (I say her mother because we aren’t married, although living together for ten years). My stepdaughter graduated from university in December. I paid for her college education; even though it was a public school, it still cost $40,000. She has no work and has been living with us since the end of her college career and since her graduation. When she graduated from high school, I also got her a car to help her get to and from school.Her deadbeat father would occasionally appear in her life, and she would fawn all over him.
Despite the fact that he has not contributed anything to her schooling or paid any child support, which is my girlfriend’s responsibility because child support was not included in the settlement, she still loves him and wants him in her life. He stays just long enough to destroy her heart by leaving town and breaking a commitment he made to her. The wedding venue can accommodate a maximum of 250 guests. I provided them a list of 20 people I wanted to invite because I was paying for everything. They said there was no problem and that they will take care of it. So I informed these people that they would be receiving an invitation and that they should save the date.
I spotted one of my pals on this list at the golf course on Saturday and asked whether he was coming. He informed me that he was not invited. He stated that he received an announcement but no invitation. He had it in his back seat (along with six months’ worth of mail) and showed it to me. Sure enough, it was only an announcement, with no mention of my name. It had her father’s and mother’s names, not mine.This sparked a heated argument with my GF when I discovered that NONE of my list of twenty “made the cut” for the final guest list because “250 people is very tight.” I was furious, but there wasn’t much I could do because the crucial people in my life had already been offended.
“If some people didn’t RSVP yes,” my GF continued, “I might be able to get a couple people in.” But, in my perspective, that is the ultimate slap in the face. On Saturday, I was boiling.We attended a Sunday supper yesterday with the future in-law’s family, as well as a surprise guest, the “Real Dad.” At this small meal, my stepdaughter stated that her “Real Dad” would be able to attend her wedding and would finally be able to give her away. A chorus of “Oh how great” and “How wonderful”s welcomed this. I don’t recall ever feeling so enraged and mistreated.
I was trembling. I took a few moments to recover my composure since I wasn’t sure if I was going to cry, punch someone, or both. I got up from my chair and said I’d want to make a toast once I was confident I’d be able to talk. I can’t recall precisely what I said, but here’s the spirit of it: “I’d like to make a toast.” My years are marked by the sound of spoons slamming against glasses. “It has been my great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years.” How adorable. “At this point in my life, I feel I owe a debt of gratitude to the bride and groom, because they have opened my eyes to something very important.”
Smiles of confidence were shared. “They’ve shown me that my place in this family isn’t what I thought it was.” A gleam of perplexity and horror spreads across the faces in the room. “Though I once thought of myself as the family patriarch or godfather, commanding great respect and sought out for assistance in times of need, it appears that I now hold the position of an ATM, good for a steady stream of money but not much else.” Because I’ve been replaced as host, both on the invites and at the ceremony, I’m handing over my financial responsibilities as host to my replacement, Real Dad. So congratulations to the happy couple and their decision.” I finished my beverage. “You are all free to leave.”
Is this self-centered? I’m meant to pay 40 — 50 grand for a wedding to which I won’t be able to invite anyone? That I am not a member of? I’m done with this nonsense. I’m done with my stepdaughter and my girlfriend. Last night, I transferred the funds from our joint account. (She hasn’t worked since she moved in with me.) This morning, I called all of the businesses I’d issued cheques to for deposits and asked them to refund my money. At the moment, it appears that I will lose roughly 1500 for the venue, but the other suppliers have been fantastic about refunding.
TLDR: If you want your “REAL DAD” to be on the invitation, give you away, and sit at the head table, that’s great; your “REAL DAD” can also pay for everything. June 9th, 1:15 a.m. Girlfriend and Bride have now left. They are relocating with the groom. It was difficult not to be petty with some of the “belongings” they took with them, but it’s done, the locks have been changed, and it’s time for a drink. I can’t believe how famous this story has become, but it makes me happy to know that so many people believe in it. I will let you know if I find out what happens with the wedding, but I cannot guarantee that I will make the effort to find out.
According to what I’ve heard, they’re attempting to “scale things back” and enlist the assistance of his parents. When I discovered she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness, I burned bridges. I’d already moved money by that point, so I guess I’m a worse jerk than she is, but I could feel it coming. That’s all there is to it. Thanks.”If you don’t feel appreciated in a relationship, it’s unlikely that you ever will. Your relationship will not change overnight, thus I believe this man did the correct thing!