How to forgive a cheater?

It’s difficult to put into words how it feels to be cheated on, but I believe it can be summed up in one word: it stinks. It’s difficult to trust again once your partner betrays you, but if you still love them, you may wonder how to forgive a cheater – or whether it’s even possible. While there is no manual for forgiving someone for infidelity, it all boils down to whether you’re willing to accept what happened and go on together.

It may appear simple to say, “I forgive you,” but it takes much more than that. You must first acknowledge that your partner was unfaithful, and then you should probably talk to them about what went wrong in the relationship, because adultery can be a symptom of a larger problem that already exists. If your spouse has profusely apologized and you’ve worked through the true issue in your relationship, there may be hope for you two.

Here's the truth about whether forgiveness is possible after someone cheats.

But, before you decide whether true forgiveness (i.e., not holding your spouse accountable for the rest of their lives) is an option, examine the following questions. Isn’t this the age-old question? Although the response varies from person to person, it is true that the first step will be to cultivate acceptance. Nicole Richardson, a marital and family therapist in Texas, believes that in order to truly forgive, you must acknowledge what happened.

“Acceptance and forgiveness are not things that happen overnight, and both parties should be patient,” Richardson tells Elite Daily. “There are stages to forgiveness and grief, and you may move from denial to depression as new information or hurts arise.” The idea of comparing forgiveness and grieving is intriguing, especially when you consider the stages involved in both. When you grieve, you’re usually mourning something and hoping to move on.

However, once the grieving process is over, you will not be able to reclaim what you have lost. You’re also deliberately mourning something when you forgive (in this situation, being cheated on and losing what your relationship once was). However, if you are comfortable with it, you have the option of healing your relationship and regaining it. You should seriously consider whether you want to put in the effort to be a happy pair again.

If you answered yes, it’s time to be brutally honest with your lover.You can forgive someone’s infidelity by discussing it with them and knowing why they chose to be unfaithful. Although learning the intricacies of your partner’s infidelity is unpleasant, it is vital in order to gain a better understanding of what occurred. “It starts small, with transparency,” adds Richardson.

Acceptance is the first step in forgiving a cheater.

“If your partner is sincere about making amends, they will need to be uncomfortably transparent with you.” She also claims that they may be required to produce you texts or social media communications in which they corresponded with the other individual. Knowing the specifics may be painful, but if you want to forgive and move on, consider the advantages of knowing everything. Knowing when your partner’s infidelity began, for example, may assist you determine the state of your relationship at the time.

Knowing the type of infidelity your partner committed, whether physical or emotional, may also assist you assess the level of your pain. “There are different kinds of cheating,” explains Richardson. “Emotional, sexual, or a mix of the two.” Which is the most upsetting to you? “Do you think you could or want to trust your partner again?” You won’t be able to tell if forgiveness is possible until you answer these questions.

According to dating coach Monica Parikh of School of Love NYC, you should also evaluate how you discovered the infidelity when deciding whether or not to move on. This could indicate your partner’s honesty and whether they’re apologizing because they truly mean it… or because they were caught. “Did they come and tell you, or were you just snooping around and found something?” Parikh inquires of Elite Daily since she believes the distinction is important.

If you can forgive a cheating partner, you may still be able to build a life together.

What could be the motivations for a partner to cheat? It’s critical to realize that your partner’s infidelity was entirely your fault. You did nothing wrong, and you did nothing to deserve what happened to you. You are not at fault. That said, it’s worth considering that if your partner was unfaithful, it could be because your relationship wasn’t as secure as you believed it was. This, according to Parikh, is “an opportunity to examine where in the relationship things may not have been going well.”

“It could be emotional disconnection, varying sexual desires, or not enough time or energy spent fostering a relationship,” Parikh explains, “so you really have to delve into what was going on beneath the infidelity, and are you, as a couple, willing to do the work to heal that.” After you’ve completed the work, you may have a much stronger partnership.” Can You Still Have A Relationship With Someone Who Cheated?It’s easy to consider your relationship to be just that — a relationship.

But it’s equally (if not more!) vital to consider your partner as a person and decide whether or not you can forgive them. “I think you have to ask yourself, fundamentally, ‘Is this a good person?'” According to Parikh. “Are they reliable? Do they have friends who are supportive of their relationship? Are you constantly going to be looking over your shoulder, or do you believe this is a blip in time in a relationship?

“According to Parikh, if your spouse is someone with whom you can truly envision building a life, and you honestly consider their infidelity as a blip on the path to a long life together, then working on the relationship may be worthwhile, as long as you’re both committed to it. “I think you have to approach relationships with a very mature attitude,” she explains. “I think you have to understand that it takes two people to make or break a relationship.”

So, if you have someone willing to do the work beside you, and you’re willing to do the job, part of that work is staring in the mirror.” However, if your partner has cheated on you several times and does not appear sorry, it may be time to go on. Dr. Gary Brown, a relationship therapist in Los Angeles, recently told Elite Daily that staying with a chronic cheater is not in anyone’s best interests. “If they’re a serial cheater, you’re much better off without them,” stated Dr. Brown. “They may be suffering from sexual addiction, and until that is addressed effectively, the chances of them continuing to cheat are very high.”

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