I’m not persuaded there is a reason to ever marry. But if you’re going to take the plunge, do so after you’ve passed your twenties. Few marriages between two 20-somethings thrive, and for good reason. Sure, you might be an outlier, but why take the risk? I believe that the majority – or almost all – of disastrous marriages could have been avoided if the once-happy pair had waited a few years before saying their vows. Need a reason not to marry in your twenties? Here’s five of them:

1. You barely know yourself. The question of whether people change or not is debatable. What is undeniably true is that very few people know themselves well enough in their twenties; most will only genuinely understand their most basic, intrinsic characteristics as they age. So, in a sense, people change; they go from being clueless to better understanding themselves.

However, a deeper awareness of oneself has an impact on others. When you understand yourself better, you behave differently; you act in accordance with all you know about yourself. When you know what you enjoy and dislike, what bothers you, and what you can deal with, you think and act differently. The same applies to your companion.

He or she will not be the same person in ten years. Individuals continue to develop throughout their 20s and 30s. Getting married at these ages is simply considerably riskier. Even a decade later, you may dislike the person you are married to. You may not even be compatible.

2. You are most likely not financially stable. Some of us are fortunate enough to either strike it rich early on or inherit financial security by default. Most of us, however, are not financially secure. Most of us cannot afford a reasonable degree of comfort. This may appear unimportant when you are overcome by love, but financial insecurity will eventually wear down you and your lover. You will want things. He or she will desire something.

You won’t be able to afford both, which will lead to conflicts. This does not even take into account the children you may have in your twenties. Kids are really pricey. Anyone know how much diapers cost? You’d think that being married and having two paychecks would make life easier, and it might for a while. However, marriage brings tension, and if you don’t have some extra cash to deal with stress, your marriage will most likely fail.

3. You Could Very Well Feel Like You Haven’t Experienced Enough? Our twenties are meant for fun and adventure. You are at your sexual peak. You’re young enough to make errors and quickly recover from them. You are young enough to have your heart shattered once or twice. You’re young enough to accomplish a lot of things that you’ll be too old for in a short period of time. You may not even believe you want or need this independence, but after you marry, that will change quickly.

If you haven’t tried enough in your twenties, you’ll probably want to do so in your 30s or forties. But you’ll get married. Love should take precedence over anything else. But since when have we been fully logical? And who in hell said marriage was reasonable in the first place?

4. Marriage Is Forever: What’s the Rush? This is what always gets to me. What’s the aim of marrying? Other than saving money on taxes, of course. Most people will respond with “stability” and “assurance”. Well, if your relationship isn’t stable before you get married, and you aren’t sure that your lover will just run off at any moment, then what makes you think that will change once you say “I do”?

In fact, if your relationship isn’t stable right now, it will almost surely worsen if you marry. Marriage makes people feel trapped – because, by definition, it is forever – until death do us part. Why get married sooner rather than later? If you’re worried your partner won’t be around later, then definitely don’t get married; you’ll save yourself a whole lot of trouble by not having to go through a divorce. Not to mention money. Lawyers are expensive.

5. Succeeding Does Get Harder With Age. We all have goals and dreams, all of which become less likely to be achieved with age. Of course, some goals do take decades to achieve, but some of our dreams can be realized right away, yet we choose to delay them. Marriage makes bringing these dreams to fruition much less likely. You get caught up in it all and lose focus. If your dream requires a lot of focus then going solo for longer will be more beneficial.

This doesn’t mean that you necessarily should avoid dating altogether, but marriage brings on a whole different set of problems and level of stress. If you love your partner and want to be with him or her, then you have to continue following your dreams. You can make a relationship work, but keeping that sense of freedom is key. We all want to feel free, even if it’s only an illusion.