My son and daughter-in-law have been married for around seven years and have two children. With all of my children grown and living independently, my husband and I, who are both still working, plan to retire in around 10-15 years, around the age of 70. My relationship with my daughter-in-law was much better before the grandchildren entered the picture. They live about 30 minutes away, and she frequently tries to drop the kids off with me.

Initially, I assumed my son was aware of this, but a talk revealed he had no idea. I showed him the several texts requesting babysitting, and he was startled to hear that I had babysat 16 times in a month when he thought it was only twice. She had been leaving the kids with me to socialize, but my son felt she was taking them with her. Good morning! Thank you for always staying by my side and listening to me.

To ensure clear communication, I established a group chat with both of them and only responded to her queries there. If she spammed me with texts, I’d share screenshots in the group chat for my son to see. We addressed the matter, and she expressed a desire for her children to have the same close relationship with their grandparents as she did. I explained that since I was still working, I couldn’t commit to babysitting every other day like her grandparents had done.

We settled on having a “grandma’s day” every two weeks. This arrangement lasted for almost a year, but when my son started traveling for work, the situation returned. The time difference makes it difficult for him to respond quickly. She just showed up suddenly at my house and asked me to babysit while she went shopping.

I reached my limit and informed her I had my own life and would not be the conventional grandmother she pictured. I informed her that if she ever left the kids with me without my permission again, I would file an abandonment report. She rushed off after calling me a jerk. Later, my son called, attempting to smooth things over and indicating that I may have gone too far.