This bride’s enthusiasm rapidly turned to disappointment when she discovered that her mother-in-law had entirely disregarded the dress code they had painstakingly set. Instead of the tones specified by the newlyweds, her mother-in-law chose to wear a bright, flamboyant dress that contrasted with the whole style. This happened during my wedding. I am a detail-oriented person, and my husband and I methodically planned our wedding. Everything was color coordinated and aesthetically beautiful. Our colors were pink and black.

I wanted our wedding colors to be worn by both parents and grandparents so that the wedding photos looked unified. I spoke with each person individually, explaining the color plan and how I wanted everyone to color coordinate. Nobody had a problem with this, so I assumed. Both sets of husband’s grandparents went shopping to acquire clothing that specifically matched our wedding party. I thought that was adorable and greatly appreciated it. My mother and I went shopping for my grandparents after they begged us to. So they were also in sync.

I offered to take my mother-in-law shopping to choose something to wear, but she declined, saying she’d go with her friends. I said okay and sort of forgot about it. My mother asks my mother-in-law what she is wearing the night of the rehearsal, to which she responds with a long dress in wedding colors. The next day, as I’m getting ready in the wedding room, my mother-in-law walks in dressed in a royal purple ball gown. She doesn’t wear makeup very often, so I was surprised to find her sporting neon blue eyeshadow and vivid pink lipstick. Her husband wore a matching tie. I was furious, but I disregarded it since I didn’t want to ruin my special day.

My FIL questioned how he looked in images, and I said, “You and MIL stick out like big sore purple thumbs.” He questioned what it meant, and I explained that they were aware of the dress code. Now they appear out of place. He stated that he wore what was handed to him and will communicate the word to my MIL. Later that night, my mother-in-law contacted me and inquired about my situation. I asked her why she had lied about her dress choice. She stated that she had never purchased a garment that would match our wedding colors and planned to wear the purple dress she found. It was more authentic to her, and that was what counted.

That’s alright, I answered, I’ll alter the images in post-production. She stated I wouldn’t change anything because they paid for the images. I explained that any picture I upload with her in it will be edited on my end, so they have no influence over what I do. I excused myself and enjoyed the remainder of my wedding.

My MIL has a habit of making things about her and making tiny comments like, “Well, I am the mother of the groom, so my opinion counts.” Or alternatively, “I can make decisions too, I’m the mother of the groom, and we are helping pay for this wedding.” My parents funded 70% of the wedding costs, while my in-laws paid for the photographer and the rehearsal dinner. The photographer was a friend and charged them only $800 for the entire night. The rehearsal dinner cost $300 because they selected the cheapest options for everything.