Anna, 35, shared her tale and asked for advice. She opened her letter by saying, “My husband and I are expecting our first child.” From the start, I recognized this would be a very delicate issue in my marriage. His mother died while giving birth to him, leaving him with a life-long trauma.»
Anna added that they tried to work on it together. She went on: “When this issue arose between us, we sought the advice of a marriage counselor.” My spouse also claims to have seen his own therapist twice a month throughout my pregnancy. I’m not saying he’s a liar, but I’m confident he either refuses to go to treatment or avoids tackling the main issue.»
The woman revealed her biggest problem since becoming pregnant. She remarked, “My spouse and his father, who plays an active role in our lives, are completely convinced that I will die in childbirth. They’ve never openly said it, but their behavior is making me stressed and uncomfortable.»
Anna stated, “My spouse once told me to make sure my life insurance is up to date.” He also frequently suggests that he would like me to consult with a lawyer and create a will.»
The wife was taken aback by such conduct and thought it was rather severe, but she consented to anything to make her husband feel better. However, there were even more strange things happening. Anna explained, “Once, my husband insisted I go through all of my possessions and write a list of what I wanted to save for the baby and what I would like returned to my family in the event of my death.”
This was the final straw, and Anna was completely fed up. She explains, “I then put my foot down and said no.” I thought it was too morbid. My FIL, who lives a few blocks away and sees us 2-4 times per week, blamed it on me. He claimed I was making things “difficult” for my spouse in case he became a sorrowful widower with a baby.
Anna adds, “I probably need to explain that I have a complication-free pregnancy that’s going just fine!” We have no reason to believe I’ll die in the delivery room in the future weeks.»Anna added, «When I publicly spoke to my husband about all of this insanity happening around my pregnancy, he just labeled me insane, but I truly feel like my father-in-law has already decided I will definitely die.»
Anna added that her father-in-law is extremely preoccupied with this scary concept. She commented, “The man’s entire life for the past 40 years has been ‘cool single dad’.” He never dated, had close friends, or pursued any meaningful hobbies. It appears like my FIL is simply waiting for the moment when he can lead my husband through what he has gone through.
Anna stated, “At this point, I only have one wish.” I don’t want to see my FIL again, and I definitely don’t want him or my husband in the delivery room. I’m also having an extremely difficult relationship with my hubby right now, and I’m thinking about banning him from not only the delivery room, but from my entire life. I don’t believe anything will actually change.»Anna admitted that she feels terrible about what is going on. She wanted nothing but the best for her family, and it appears that her world has come crashing down.
She responded, “My husband supports his father on everything. He frustrates me by acting as if my due date were my death date. In addition to everything, he has entirely distanced himself from me. Every moment I spend with him is depressing, unpleasant, and a reminder that our marriage is failing. I’ve told him a million times that his conduct stresses me out, and I don’t want it to happen while I’m concentrating on giving birth.»
Anna asked us, “Do you think I owe it to my husband to let him upset me during the delivery?” I doubt that his presence in the delivery room is more crucial than a safe and healthy birth. The whole thing has been so strange, I feel like I need some outside perspective and advice.»