After ending a relationship, you may still find yourself stalking your ex’s social media. Even if you’re certain you’ve made the right decision to end the relationship, looking at an ex’s profile can be quite tempting – we’ve all been there. However, depending on how things ended and what is going on in their life, an ex may decide to block you. It’s normal to be furious if your ex bans you on social media, and you’re certainly not the first person to realize, “OMG.” “My ex has blocked me.” However, it is vital to note that it may have been necessary from their perspective.
As noted couples’ therapist Dr. Gary Brown recently told Elite Daily, seeing your ex’s Instagram posts and Stories appear on your page can be difficult after a breakup. “Blocking your ex on social media after a breakup — particularly a very painful breakup — can certainly help you move on,” Dr. Brown told CNN. “Breakups can be devastating for both parties, regardless of who ends it. It helps to avoid continual reminders of your ex, and one of the greatest ways to do so is to block them. If you realize you’ve been blocked on social media and aren’t sure what to do, here’s what the experts recommend.
Consider why your ex might have blocked you. Moving on becomes much more difficult when your ex is all over your feed, which is why so many people block them. However, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, Susan Trombetti, believes that your ex may move on and yet refuse to be friends with you on social media. “An ex might block you in order to move on, to prove to a new love that you are part of their past, or maybe you are ‘liking’ their stuff too much and are a little too involved with their page,” according to her. “They know future prospects are going to see that and think you are still carrying a torch or maybe even that they still have feelings for you.”
It’s also possible that your ex blocked you because they’re seeing someone new and want to respect your feelings. “It’s important not to see everything your ex does because it will most likely prolong your pain and suffering,” Dr. Brown previously stated. “Being constantly exposed to them on social media is likely to be extremely hurtful to you — and especially if they are now hooking up with, dating, or now living with someone else.” Your ex is certainly aware of this, therefore if they blocked you, you should probably trust their decision.
Resist the need to call them out. Regardless of their explanation, receiving such a clear message that they do not want you in their life, even if it is only online, can be devastating. When this happens, you may feel compelled to act, but Trombetti advises you to remain silent. “There really is nothing you can do except maybe talk to them about it, but you shouldn’t,” Trombetti says. “If you are creeping on their page to know you are blocked, then you are only reaffirming the reason you are blocked: You are too invested in their page for their own comfort.”
Although it may be difficult to stomach, respecting their boundaries is critical, especially if you still hope to reconcile (platonically or not) in the future. Not to mention that it’s nearly impossible to approach them about blocking you without them knowing you were lurking on their page, which is… unpleasant. Once you notice you’ve been blocked, you might consider asking your friends to keep an eye on your ex or utilizing their profiles to do some stalking of your own. But, according to Trombetti, doing so will most certainly cause considerably more harm than good. “It is better to just move on,” she says.
“You shouldn’t look at images of them because it keeps you subconsciously attached to them, which is bad for you. They are your ex for a reason, and now is the time to move on. Fully letting go of an ex is a difficult but important part of the healing process, so rather than fighting it, embracing their decision to block you is usually the healthiest option. If you’re still dealing with a breakup, being blocked may be a blessing in disguise. Quitting someone cold turkey can be difficult, but clinging to them on social media can make the process even more unpleasant. Even if you have no lingering feelings for them, being blocked can be a great disappointment, but keep in mind that, while it may be painful, it is ultimately their choice.