1. You learn to overcome your dread of loneliness. While the aftermath of a breakup is unpleasant, it is not synonymous with loneliness. Loneliness is not created by someone; it is caused by the absence of someone. Loneliness is when you feel fine on your alone but wish you could spend your days with someone wonderful.

Only by confronting loneliness can you learn to overcome your dread of it. And not fearing loneliness is one of the most liberating experiences in the world. When you know you won’t die from being alone, your next relationship takes on entirely new meaning. There is less dependence and more partnership, less fear of the end and more appreciation for the fact that it exists at all. After you’ve overcome your loneliness, relationships will no longer define your life; instead, they will enrich it.

2. You have more time to develop additional sources of support. All too frequently, couples begin to live in a bubble, relying solely on one another. When you are single, you are forced to rely on people for advice, support, love, and fun. The more you explore and develop these friendships as a single woman, the stronger they will be when you meet the right person.

Then, instead of relying solely on your significant other for strength, you’ll have a more balanced support network. So, after a bad day at work, have a bottle of wine with a coworker or contact a friend. Chances are, these folks will still be the greatest people to turn to in times of need long after you’ve gotten together.

3. You learn to rely on yourself. Learning to be more autonomous may be more important than relying on a social network. Make dinner for one, unclog the toilet, learn to eat alone at restaurants, and live on your own (if it is affordable).

Sure, you can learn to do these things while in a relationship. But when you’re single, there is no safety net. If the toilet won’t unclog even after you’ve tried the plunger, you can’t just contact your significant other for assistance. I guarantee that the possibility of that will give you the extra motivation you need to do the work yourself. (In my instance, I had to practically take buckets of unclean toilet water out to the garden. It wasn’t enjoyable, but I am curiously proud of it.)

4. You do not have to jeopardize your future. Being single means not only having complete control over your daily activities, but also the opportunity to establish your own life plans without having to consider anybody else. Thinking about going to graduate school? Have you always wanted to visit Greece? It’s time to do it. If I hadn’t been dumped, I wouldn’t have relocated to Chicago and taken a job at a magazine. And, coincidentally, I would never have met my current husband.

Rather than focusing on how your life will change as a result of the next person you meet, consider how you may improve your life – and then take action. You have the opportunity to make a difference without affecting others, so take advantage. Making significant changes on your own can be daunting, but I assure you that they are worthwhile. Best of all, you’ll never have to worry what you could have done or where you might have gone in the future. Your what ifs will become remember whens.

5. You learn how to comfort yourself. As strange as it may sound, many adults have never learnt to sleep alone (including tough Nikki Minaj). Now, when my husband is away for business and I hear a disturbance in the apartment and begin to panic, I think, Remember when you lived in that little studio without a deadbolt and wedged a chair under the door handle as a substitute for true security? Yeah. You were fine then. You are OK now.

6. You can date yourself. I agree that dates are normally more enjoyable with someone else, but they can still be enjoyable on their own. Going to the spa or getting your hair cut should not be the only activities that women feel comfortable doing alone. On a Saturday afternoon, explore a museum at your leisure, go hiking through a nature preserve, catch a movie in the theater, or request a table for one at your favorite restaurant.

You don’t need another person to enjoy these simple pleasures—not even a partner or a friend. The first few times you do something on your own, it may feel awkward. But, believe me, no one is judging you. Nobody else cares about what you’re doing. Furthermore, the inner power and confidence you’ll gain from these exercises will far outweigh any embarrassment. (And hey, if it’s truly that bad, you always have your smartphone.)

When you’re happy together, you’ll be able to enjoy your alone time while your partner is out with friends, working late, or traveling. Realizing you can be blissfully happy by yourself is an incredible gift.

7. You have more time to discover who you are. No matter how independent you are in a relationship, you are influenced by the person you are with. Being single allows you to be yourself completely and authentically. Spending several days and nights alone with your thoughts may lead to the most rewarding discoveries, whether it’s something as basic as recognizing you detest watching TV at night or something more ambitious like understanding you want to write a novel someday. Spending time alone allows you to reflect on what you value and how you want to conduct your life.

During my third single phase, I verified that I wanted to marry and have children someday. I also recognized that Chicago was still the place I wanted to be, even without the guy I’d spent so much time with there. As it turned out, these insights increased my chances of meeting the appropriate person in the end. Which leads me to…

8. You’ll be better prepared for love when you find it. In an unexpected twist, being single can help you find amazing love. Similar to discovering who you are and what you want, you begin to gain a better understanding of who you want to be with. Taking the time to be single and actually ponder on what you want in a mate will lead you to someone who can bring you limitless happiness rather than someone who is only filling a gap.

Seize the opportunity to set your requirements for a mate. Get back to basics: Which qualities do you find most appealing in a person? What didn’t work in the past? What are your deal-breakers? Of course, you can’t expect someone to satisfy all of the criteria you specify on a checklist, but recognizing what’s most important to you is a good start. Eventually, you’ll be glad you took the time to consider it.