The jury is still out on whether true love can happen on a dime. Personally, I do not believe in love at first sight. I also disagree with the old cliché that true love needs effort, but I do feel that it does. Your relationship begins with a strong sense of attraction, respect, and an emotional and intellectual spark. As you go, you add walls, floors, windows, and paint. When I ask myself, “What is true love?” or “What does true love feel like?,” there is just one image that comes to me.
True love feels like a home that can accommodate both of you, a place where all of your material and bodily wants can be addressed. However, in a more literal sense, real love feels like all of the best aspects of any wonderful relationship combined into one. “Being truly in love with someone often feels like having a genuine friendship with the added bonus of ongoing attraction and sexual intimacy,” said Dr. Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist and author of the book Date Smart, to Bustle.
True love is frequently misinterpreted as that jolt in your stomach, that flutter in your gut that signals first attraction. While butterflies are exciting and enjoyable, the uneasy feeling that comes with a new crush or when you first fall for someone may or may not be actual love. Often, it’s more of an infatuation, which might lead to true love if you’re both ready to work together. If your relationship does not progress past the stage of infatuation, your sentiments are genuine, but they may not be the same as true love.
In any new relationship, pay attention to the following indicators to see if you’ve found your genuine love. Natalie Zotova, 500px/500px Prime/Getty Images.
True love can’t live without safety. A relationship that puts you in jeopardy, whether emotionally or physically, cannot be true love since true love requires that your needs are addressed. True love begins with a bond with oneself. In this union, you will be able to know what you require to feel secure, how to ask for it, and when it is not being met.
Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, a licensed clinical psychotherapist and founder of LoveVictory.com, recently told Elite Daily that true love should create a sense of calm and security. “Healthy, lasting love finds its own ‘cruising gear’ where you feel fulfilled, happy, positive, and sure of your choice of partner,” she wrote. What does true love feel like? In a truly loving relationship, you and your spouse will respect each other’s boundaries because you recognize that they are necessary for both of you to feel safe. You will not ask each other to bend those boundaries since you know it would mean sacrificing someone’s safety or health for your own.
Love should feel genuine. True love means knowing you are emotionally, physically, and mentally safe within your relationship’s shared space. True Love Feels Like a Connection. Just as there is a fundamental difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, there is a significant gap between love and attachment. However, negotiating the (often nuanced) distinctions between love and attachment can be challenging. In many ways, a deep attachment or dependency can feel similar to love.
However, attachments are generally associated with a weaker emotional connection. What should love feel like? In certain circumstances, the question is unanswerable; yet, you should believe that your codependency is healthy and reliable. Kristen Lilla, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Sexuality Educator located in Nebraska, recently told Elite Daily that “being in love” suggests a connection, whereas “being attached” implies reliance. When you have a love-based connection, you should not feel obligated. “I think it is important to ask yourself the question, ‘Do I have to be with this person, or do I get to be with this person?'” Lilla added.
“If you feel like you have to be in a relationship, perhaps it is out of an attachment issue, but if you feel like you get to be with someone, and it is a privilege, you may be in love.” True love feels like acceptance. True love feels like knowing that your lover will make time to sit with you and listen to you. You never feel like you need to wave to gain your partner’s attention. If you need to sort anything out together, they can sit with you, listen to you, and work productively with the information you supply. They appreciate seeing you just as much as you do.
True love is like gazing at the other and knowing that they are truly looking back at you, not a projection of who they believe you should be. This also means that you and your partner will put each other’s happiness first, even when things get nasty. When major life events occur, such as when your partner gets offered their ideal job but must migrate across the nation, if it is pure love, their first move will be to sit down and talk it out with you. “‘The one’ makes you feel loved and secure,” Lesli Doares, a couples and marriage coach at Foundations Coaching, previously told Elite Daily.
“You can be yourself and feel accepted. They encourage you to be your best self, and they bring it out in you.” What does love feel like when life conspires against your relationship? Working hard to acknowledge your partner and their role in your relationship is essential, especially if other areas of your life are influencing how you two love each other. Recognition can fluctuate within the limits of a partnership. Work, education, and social obligations can all interfere with being able to fully see each other. Even when your vision is obstructed by external distractions, you may return to each other and see each other again.
True love feels like being able to rise toward each other again and again, even if you have to step back for a minute to attend to all of the other things that life requires. True love is comfortable. True love allows you to be yourself, with all of your foibles, goofs, and gaffes. “Love has a way of overwhelming us,” Dr. Joshua Klapow, professional psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, once told Bustle. “Your spouse may go from being themselves to a ‘in love geek.’ They may say unusual things, make embarrassing comments, and appear slightly uncomfortable because they are madly in love with you.
They are essentially attempting to negotiate who they are in the midst of these intense sentiments of love, which can appear strange at times. But it signifies that love is in the air. If you or your spouse begin to let your guard down, are you using baby talk? Are you talking about your pubic hair in detail? Do you sing a theme song every time you brush your teeth? — According to Dr. Klapow, it could simply indicate that yours is a genuine love.
True Love feels stable. True love evokes feelings of security and stability. True love feels different for everyone, but in a loving relationship, it is easily related with a consistent level of trust. You are not concerned about breaking up or your partner leaving you abruptly. When they leave town, you may miss them, but you are also glad for them because you want them to travel and experience new things. Your love is balanced, with no sense of suspicion or possession. You’re not concerned about them hanging out with their mates. If you ever feel jealous, you can talk about it. You don’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells or that you’re going to leave after every disagreement.
Susan Winter, an author and relationship specialist, recently told Elite Daily, “It is simple to ‘love’ someone. We abuse the word love, just as we overuse the word ‘friend.’ This word has been diluted to the point where most people who have feelings for someone are positive they love him or her.” She believes that unconditional love is the only true form of love. “In love means that you’ve weathered the storms of your partner’s negative qualities, and still choose to remain in the relationship,” she told me. “Your love is unconditional. It is all-inclusive because you accept both the positive and negative elements of your partner.”
Stability also implies that you are able to meet each other’s material requirements. If one of you is hungry and the other has groceries, they’ll gladly feed you. In return, you will offer to make their bed in the morning or to provide emotional support. These tasks are not undertaken with the expectation of receiving anything in return, because giving to one another benefits both parties. The amount of attention you give each other is balanced, and the ways you display your love, sensitivity, and caring are equitable.
True love feels selfless. Being in a relationship typically teaches you how to function both separately and collaboratively — combining your personal time with adequate time for your partner. However, being in love enables you to feel selfless. You may feel more guarded or set strong boundaries while dating because you are still getting to know that person. When you’re in love, you may do anything to make your lover feel happy, comfortable, and loved.
According to Dr. Tara, a relational communication professor and relationship specialist, genuine love is an unmistakable feeling unlike anything else you’ve ever experienced. “This feeling comes with comfort, trust, fondness, sexual chemistry, and a willingness to sacrifice,” Dr. Tara explains to Elite Daily. “If you’ve met someone wonderful and are wondering if it’s true love, consider this: would you sacrifice for this person, and vice versa? And I’m not talking about dying for someone since this isn’t Shakespeare, but if you have plans with your friends to go on a trip and your partner gets injured, would you stay to care for them or go have fun with your friends because it’s a scheduled trip? This is a solid indication that you’re not only falling for love and butterflies.”
Being unselfish in love entails more than simply going out of your way to make your lover happy. Selflessly loving your partner can also mean working extra hard on your communication skills because you know miscommunication causes worry in your partner, or starting a monthly check-in with your partner because you know it is important to them. Basically, if you’d do everything, emotionally, physically, and cognitively, to make your spouse feel acknowledged and appreciated, even if it meant putting your needs or wishes on hold for a moment, trust that you’re in love. If these signals seem familiar, congratulations – it appears that you’ve discovered a true love, which is truly special.