I (40f) and my spouse Sam (41m) have been married for ten years. We have four children (22, 16, 14, and 11), and until the last six months, I honestly believed that we could get through anything. This is not the only incident that has occurred in the last few years; it is simply the one that eventually shattered me. I just celebrated my birthday, and Sam prepared a surprise birthday party for me.

He told me three days before the party, and I thought it was beautiful that he couldn’t contain his excitement. I wish this were the case, but instead he told me I needed to help him clean the house so it was ready for my party. Yes, you read that correctly: I needed to prepare food and set up the house for my own party.I agreed to clean to keep the peace, but I was unhappy.

The day of the party arrived, and I was saddened to learn that he had not invited the majority of my friends and family. He stated he didn’t know how to reach them. The final straw came when he brought out a cake in a flavor he enjoyed, which I would never choose for myself. I barely managed to hold it together and cried in the bathroom after everyone had left.

I felt like an afterthought, and I hated seeing everyone compliment him on giving me a party. I work two jobs, care for my children, and do the majority of the housework, as well as meal planning and shopping. I am fatigued and would just like to feel appreciated for a day. Am I foolish to consider divorce because I believe he doesn’t care? I can’t comprehend tossing away ten years of marriage, yet I’m broken.