After we broke up, my ex was obviously concerned while collecting his possessions. He said he couldn’t find his “blue work planner” and had me promise that if I discovered it, I’d phone him directly instead of peeking inside. A few months later, I found the planner and couldn’t stop myself from opening it. My blood turned cold when I discovered it wasn’t a work planner.

He’d been methodically following my menstrual cycle for the past nine years, taking comprehensive notes on specific days and times. I was frightened and felt sick in my stomach. I still don’t understand why he did this; it revealed a warped side of him that I had no idea existed. I’m not sure whether I should confront him about it, or if I want to.

Here is another story! I was pregnant when my spouse died in a job accident. When I received his possessions, there were answering machine messages from people who thanked him for being so fantastic. It made me proud of what a nice man dad was.

Then, when I opened his computer, I was astounded to see emails and text messages from various women thanking him for dinner, etc. I felt a sudden outburst of rage toward him, which I could not control. Everyone told me, “You can’t be mad at a dead person.” But it was unclear.