1. They are avoiding. You. Welcome to Distance-ville, population you. Avoiding someone is usually a strong indication that a difficult or unpleasant talk is necessary. The optimist in me believes that occasionally this conduct might be explained by stress or business. Unfortunately, it is also something that frequently occurs before someone breaks up with you. They get quiet. When they are present, they are not overly talkative. They aren’t lovey and affectionate. S

gh.

2. They’re much nicer than usual. Sometimes guilt overcomes someone who recognizes they’ve been a bad spouse, or they experience an unexpected (usually short) change of heart. That shame can materialize in extra love, presents, or romance. Basically, sucking up. It normally happens after a long journey, but it can also happen unexpectedly. Be weary of romance that is overly romantic, as if it is attempting to compensate for some complex emotions.

3. They are different. They do not say they love you as much. They want additional space. They used to often publish images of you two together, but they no longer do. And they aren’t the same as they once were. Either they’re going through a great moment of personal development, or they’re getting ready to return to the market.

4. They have plans for the future that do not include you. I recall attempting to break up with my first boyfriend and not having the courage to do it. I devised a slow, gradual series of steps to make things easier: Study abroad, have my own apartment—things like that. Maybe you know grad school in another state is on the horizon, but your partner isn’t discussing it with you. Or perhaps they’re accepting far-flung employment offers like it’s no big deal. They could be intentionally excluding you.

5. They’re Taking Back Their Stuff Say goodbye to the hoodie you very much claimed as yours. And the DVDs you borrowed. And everything else your lover like that you happen to own. Cleaning away their belongings from your home and returning their favorite items are normal pre-breakup activities. They can also be the acts of persons who simply want their belongings returned. Once again, communication is key.

6. Their friends are not nice to you anymore. If your partner is going to leave you, chances are they’ve informed their team. This implies that the squad will not be their typical rays of sunshine. Even if they aren’t nasty to you, they will probably act strangely around you. You might be tempted to ask your partner’s besties for information, but this is not acceptable. It puts them in a difficult position, as they may be betraying their friend’s trust. It’s better to speak with the source directly.

7. You feel it in your gut. Sometimes there seems to be nothing wrong with your relationship, but you have a gut feeling that your partner is preparing to terminate it. Because you know them. You know them better than they do themselves. In fact, you might know they’re about to break up with you before they’ve fully realized it. Vibes do not lie.

If something is going to happen, it will happen. You have to let these things play out, because if you guilt or shame someone into staying with you, you’re together for the wrong reasons. You will make it through this. I promise.