1. They wanted a variety of sexual partners. “I wanted a greater variety of sexual partners” was the second most common reason for cheating. Racine R. Henry, Ph.D., a registered marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle that cheating is rarely about one partner’s feelings for the other. Typically, the culprit feels unloved, bored, and/or invincible. So, if you’ve ever been cheated on, don’t assume it’s because you’re weak in some area, such as the bedroom.
2. They felt neglected. “A lack of feeling loved and appreciated often leads to cheating,” Dr. Caroline Madden, a marital and family therapist, tells Bustle. When one spouse feels rejected, upset, or unappreciated but does not want to end the relationship, cheating may seem like the greatest option to gain the attention they seek. According to the report, 70% admitted to cheating because they felt neglected.
3. A Situational Reason. .70 percent of participants used the explanation “I was drunk and not thinking clearly” or something similar. If you’ve been told that your spouse was inebriated and didn’t realize what was going on, you can be looking for any “true” intentions behind it. You may believe they don’t really love you or don’t want to be with you because they can easily cheat when they’re intoxicated, but this isn’t always the case. “In general, cheating does not always imply love for one’s partner,” family and relationship psychologist and author Dr. Fran Walfish tells Bustle. “If the person cheated only one time, and demonstrates genuine remorse, regret, empathy, and apologizes, the breach of trust can be repaired with two willing partners.”
4. To increase their own self-esteem. 57 percent of participants were motivated by a desire to improve their own self-esteem. “They consciously or unconsciously are feeling insecure and use the seduction and conquest of an extramarital encounter to feel good about themselves,” explains Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, relationship therapist and founder of Relationup, an online relationship community.
Perhaps they are apprehensive about something external, such as their job, age, or attractiveness. Other times, individuals simply feel powerless in their relationship and seek a method to regain control. “Sometimes, however, they cheat because their insecurity stems from feelings of insignificance or unworthiness that they experienced in their family of origin that continue to plague them,” according to her.
5 Out of Anger. Getting back at their partner for cheating or simply being upset after a dispute was the sixth most common reason why people cheated, with 43 percent citing it as their primary motivation. 6. Feeling Unattached To Their Partner. 41 percent of people admitted to cheating because they felt they had little commitment to their relationship.
7For Physical Sex. Approximately one-third of those polled admitted to cheating only for the purpose of sex. In general, the study discovered that men were more prone to cheat for variety, sex, and situational reasons, but women were more likely to cheat when they felt overlooked or abandoned. Personality type also influenced why someone opted to cheat. For example, persons with commitment issues were more driven by sexual diversity, whereas hopeless romantics cheated due to a lack of love and commitment. However, experts emphasize that being cheated on is not your fault. Regardless matter why someone cheats, it is ultimately about them rather than you.