1. Being wealthier. Money, ugh. Who desires it? More money, as The Notorious B.I.G. so brilliantly stated, means more issues. Individuals without children will be perpetually depressed at having so much more money in their bank accounts. One of the best hobbies is worrying about money, and parents in particular get to indulge in this habit all the time! Parents start to worry that they won’t have enough money for their children’s Christmas presents—a PS4 and clothes—as well as their education and medical costs (hey, college!). It is now anticipated that the overall expense of having a child will be $245,000. You could probably spend that money on something else, after all.

2. Getting too much sleep.The worst thing about not having children is that you can sleep as much as you choose! Oh no! Nobody likes to regularly sleep through the entire night or sleep in on the weekends. *Fun fact: Young children can help you get a few hours of sleep every now and then more effectively than anything else because our bodies actually function much better on that amount of sleep. They wake you up at three in the morning telling you they had a nightmare about Anna from Frozen not being able to get to Elsa, and they keep you up all night with fevers of 100 degrees.

All of this is far more fun than waking up rested and full of energy. Additionally, parents don’t need to buy alarms because their yelling children may easily ensure that they wake up with the sun. The unfortunate fate of single individuals is that they will always be able to sleep in on Sundays and deprive their bodies and minds of the overnight sleep that is necessary for basic bodily functions and wellness.

3. Having more time to focus on your profession. Those without children can concentrate on their careers because their attention won’t be diverted by little beings. However, nobody enjoys going to work. There are no people on Earth who enjoy devoting their entire selves to fulfilling professional endeavors; nobody at all feels good about being able to work long hours to reach new heights of success or finish rewarding projects without feeling guilty about not spending enough time with their children. Who wouldn’t want that guilt? Pssh!

And if you haven’t yet determined what your area of expertise is? Unfortunately, the only thing you have to figure it out if you don’t have children is time. Horrible. It just sounds stressful to be able to chose from a greater range of potential employment since you are not a parent. When your boss gives you a raise for exceptional work performance, you have to pretend to be happy, even if it means packing up and relocating to a new, larger office with a gorgeous view and navigating the trouble of filing for a higher tax rate. Who has time for any of that, really?

4. Watching any TV show you desire. One of the greatest television programs right now is Yo Gabba Gabba, but chances are you’ve never watched it since you’re too preoccupied with awful shows like Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead. You’re exposing yourself to a lot of unsuitable content because those shows aren’t even PG or G-rated. You also lose out on a lot of things when you don’t binge-watch the same episode of your beloved television program.

However, if you have children, they’ll show you how it’s done: each time you ask them if they’d like to watch TV for a little, they’ll insist that you put on the same episode of the same show. It’s also really convenient to know that when you go to the movies, you’ll just have to pick between two movies at most because the other movies aren’t suitable for families. Making decisions can be difficult, yet the latest SpongeBob film is still far superior to Furious 7 or Fifty Shades of Grey. (That last bit actually MAY be true.)

5. Ease of travel. While going on a romantic trip to Rome or hiking the well-known Inca trails in Bolivia may sound really thrilling, the family fun that can be found at your city’s decrepit amusement park, or—if you’re becoming really adventurous—Disneyland, is far more enjoyable. Special bonds form between you and your partner and your kids when you’re all crying because your partner tells you that it’s all your fault because you’re pushing the kids too hard and that after two stressful hours trying to get them dressed,

fed, and out of the hotel room and all the way to the Happiest Place on Earth, your kids have decided they’re afraid of Mickey Mouse and just want to go home. You truly feel cherished and like you belong in times like that. Gazing upon the wonder of Taiwan’s Shifen Waterfall will not give you the same sense of completion.