My 14-year-old son began feeling ashamed of my spouse and me around 2 years ago. We expected this to pass, but it has become worse. We are just average individuals, but the way he handles us makes you think we are weirdos. He says things like, “Don’t come to my games;” “Don’t leave me right out front;” and “I’ll go ahead at the mall, so people don’t think we come together.” The list goes on. He’s great when we buy him something or do what he wants, but recently he’s started treating us like crap.
A few days ago, I drove 40 minutes to get him up from a school event, and he made me wait a block away. When he saw me and the other kids, he turned red and came to a stop. He waited for the youngsters to pass before getting into the car, sliding down, and saying, “Drive.” I’ve informed him how we feel about all of this, but he doesn’t care. Okay, I’ve had enough.
When he required a new t-shirt for an event, I told him to “duck!” and shoved his head down while driving to the store. I then informed him that I felt the driver was a college acquaintance, and I didn’t want him to see us together. When he asked why, I explained that I was embarrassed. When we arrived at the store, I got out of the car and dashed to the entrance. When my son caught up with me, I asked him to stand a few feet back in case I ran into someone I knew in the store.
He understood what I was doing. When I asked him how it felt to be treated as an embarrassment, he replied, “Not good.” The next morning, we went to the transit office to pick up a bus pass for him. I informed him that I no longer wanted to be seen in a car with him and that he should use the bus from now on. I stated my displeasure at having to accompany him inside the office,
and that I was more worried with how the clerk, whom I did not know, would see me than how I made him feel. I then instructed him to stand by the entrance and not speak. I believe he understands the message, but I’m still not convinced. I informed my sister about it, and she was upset. She believes I should recognize that this is a phase and that he will outgrow it. I’ve been with him for about two years and am tired of the habit. What do you all think?