The tattoo gun’s humming was more amusing than uncomfortable. Given what was going on, it was a strange sensation. My 75-year-old shoulder would be permanently etched with a magnificent blue heron, its wings wide as if it were about to take to the skies.It was a dream that would last a lifetime, a modest protest against the looming sense of “shouldn’ts” that seemed to come with aging.”Getting a tattoo,” I explained, trying to sound casual. “You know, like the kind all the cool kids get?”
Sarah’s mouth constricted. “Awesome kids, Mom?” “You are 75 years old.”Seventy-five and fabulous,” I said, hoping my phony smile would last. I was trying to convince them to let me wear a shorter skirt, and it felt like I was back in high school. Even at the age of 75, I still struggled for the right to express myself.Sarah carried on, her tone relaxing slightly. “But, Mother, what were you thinking? Tattoos are for young folks.”Mark yelled out in a nasty tone. “Yeah, it’s not exactly like reading glasses or a comfortable pair of shoes, is it?”
Their remarks stabbed deeper than a needle could. My cheeks were flooded with hot, unwelcome humiliation. I only received criticism for finally living a little and chasing a goal of mine. But as soon as it happened, I felt a surge of defiance overtake me. This was neither their fantasy nor their body. This was mine, and I was not going to let them take away my delight.
“I’m considering living my life, Mark,” I said with an unexpectedly aggressive tone. “This is not a mistake, and this is not your body to beautify. It’s a festival.” They were stunned into silence and turned to face me. Even though it was a little victory, I felt pleased about maintaining my position. The seclusion was awful that weekend. Sarah and Mark exchanged fewer calls, paid shorter visits, and had unpleasant talks when they did communicate.
Our Sunday supper, which was usually a joyous occasion filled with pointed eyes and awkward silences, became a forced affair. It was as if a wall had formed between us, built with their contempt.But rather than allowing it to break me, I chose to use it to propel me forward. I refused to apologize for being alive. I was genuinely planned on going all in.
I got to work on my research. The energetic older women in the park who did tai chi always pleased me, but I thought it was a little too graceful. However, yoga fascinated me. My computer screen was filled with images of strong, poised bodies in positions that appeared unachievable for someone my age. It appeared to be an attempt to outperform expectations and meet scheduling restrictions.After a lot of searching, I finally discovered a senior-only yoga class. I was a little nervous when I signed up online. Will they make fun of the elderly woman who can no longer touch her toes? However, my need to discredit both them and myself grew stronger.
My heart beat a tattoo on my ribs as I walked into the studio that first morning—a funny thought that made me smile a little. Everybody was so young and nimble, stretching their bodies into impossible forms. It felt like I was in a ballet class, a giraffe.But Sarah, the instructor, greeted me enthusiastically, a woman with silver hair sparkling through her magenta mane and a gorgeous smile. The other students were equally kind, a mix of men and women in their sixties and seventies. They went to stretch, breathe, and find their own inner zen, not to compete.
The first class was a whirlwind of shaking warrior poses and swinging dogs looking down. My body, used to a life spent in the kitchen and gardens, communicated disapproval in a variety of ways. But when I struck a stance, beads of sweat dripping down my brow, I felt an unexpected sense of pride. I was trying, even if it wasn’t ideal.
Weeks turned into months, and yoga class became my safe sanctuary. Not only were there evident medical benefits—my back pain had long since subsided—but there were also other positives. It has to do with the folks I met there. These were people who didn’t mind making fun of themselves, who took delight in their small victories, and who refused to let growing older define them.Sarah and Mark gave me a surprise visit one beautiful afternoon.
My first thought was to cover up my tattoo, which was a bad idea because it was plainly visible on my shoulder. But Sarah had done it before me. Her eyes widened as they focused on the blue heron, and I braced myself for further criticism. Her remark, however, was quite unexpected. With a genuine smile on her face, she exclaimed, “Grandma, it’s beautiful!” “You look like a rockstar!”Mark, however, did not waver. His expression was unreadable as he looked at the tattoo, then at me. He mumbled, “Interesting,” at the conclusion.
Sarah introduced me to a woman she had brought along, Sarah the yoga instructor, before the discussion became awkward again. She appeared considerably younger than her age, with laugh lines around her eyes and a vibrant pink streak in her hair. My daughter Sarah said, “We were just talking about your yoga class.” “Apparently, you’re quite the star pupil, Mom.” My cheeks flushed with both pride and humiliation. “Oh, well,” I muttered, trying to dodge.
Sarah, the teacher, on the other hand, continued to speak in a friendly and courteous manner. “That is absurd!” You inspire all of the students in the class. While we’re concerned about our sore knees, you’re effortlessly striking poses.” For the first time, Mark grinned. “She has consistently been a recalcitrant individual,” he observed, sounding slightly amused.It went unexpectedly well in the afternoon.
Sarah, the instructor, made us all laugh with her jokes and anecdotes while explaining the benefits of yoga for seniors. Mark even seemed inquisitive as he asked about the various yoga poses and techniques. By the time they left, much of the fog had dissipated. Even Mark appeared to have softened his stance, and Sarah seemed genuinely interested in my new pastime. His eyes remained slightly hesitant, but it was out of curiosity rather than judgment.
I awoke the next morning with a sore hip (downward-facing dogs are tougher than they appear!), but I felt lighter inside. My tattoo served as both a sign and an artistic expression on my body. It stood for overcoming ageism, living independently, and finding happiness in unexpected places. Perhaps it had come to represent my family as well. Perhaps my modest act of disobedience sparked a conversation or influenced them to change their mind. Perhaps my blue heron was encouraging others to spread their wings and soar while also flying on my shoulder.