My family was recently invited to my brother’s wedding: myself, my husband, our daughter (21), and son (18). Everyone except our youngest son (16), as this is a child-free wedding. I called my brother to check that my kid was not invited because I had previously attended a child-free wedding for those aged 13 or older, and my son would not behave badly or require as close supervision as a smaller child.

My brother apologized profusely and explained that he couldn’t make exceptions to his rule because some of his friends have much younger children and he didn’t want to appear favoritistic by allowing my 16-year-old to attend. That was great with me; I understand child-free weddings; I had one (before having children). My brother has two children from a previous marriage (16 and 17), and two of my sister’s children (13 and 15) are also under the age of 18, so I believed they would not be invited.

The wedding is in another nation, and my family will fly out for the weekend. My 16-year-old is disappointed that he was not invited because he and my brother are close. I also do not want to leave him at home alone for the weekend. So I decided that on the night of the wedding, he and his cousins could hang out in the hotel, utilize the pool, order room service, and make a night of it.

Then the next day, we could all visit the city together, so my son wouldn’t feel left out.When I told my brother about the plan, he thought it was fantastic, but when I told my sister, she was astonished because her children had been invited and she had no idea it was child-free. She had verified with my brother, who informed her that it was 13+, therefore my niece was invited.

So we both phoned my brother, who confessed that my son is the only one under the age of 18 in the immediate family who has not been invited, but he refused to explain why, despite my persistent efforts.My sister and I have chosen not to go because we are both mad with him, and she adores my 16-year-old. My mother has called both of us, accusing us of being childish and failing to support my brother.

My brother’s soon-to-be wife is also unhappy with us, claiming that my brother is distraught and that my son was excluded “for a good reason,” but failing to specify what that reason is. My brother-in-law (sister’s husband) is also furious and blaming me for my sister’s absence, and I’m starting to feel awful and wish I’d let sleeping dogs lie. But was I mistaken?