My spouse has raised my 14-year-old daughter for 10 years. His 40th birthday was meant to be a big party at his parents’ place. When I heard sounds from my teen’s room that morning, my reality collapsed.

I heard my spouse speaking to my daughter in her room to avoid getting heard. He advised her to avoid his parents’ gathering at all costs. He asked her to lie and pretend she didn’t want to go, promising a shopping spree. My daughter, who had been anticipating the party for weeks, reluctantly agreed.

I understand his request, which enrages me. My mother-in-law hates visiting my daughter because she thinks her son “wasted” his money and time raising her. To avoid upsetting his mother, he made my daughter feel unwanted and ashamed.

I could not attend the party, so I faked a migraine and remained home. Two days later, I’m still processing the betrayal. This behavior repulsed me, as if I’d found a previously unknown aspect of him. I’m considering leaving him. What do you think?