My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been married for three years and have a generally positive relationship. Before we married, we agreed not to have children. However, following our wedding, she changed her mind and insisted on having a baby. Despite my reminders about our arrangement, she insisted. I was still convinced that I didn’t want any children.

So, to avoid unnecessary trouble, I quietly had a vasectomy last year. I didn’t tell her because I felt justified after she violated our initial agreement. A few months after my vasectomy, she came to me and joyfully announced that she was pregnant. I was horrified and accused her of cheating, despite the fact that I had not revealed my vasectomy.

She thought my claims were ridiculous and that I was insane because I was opposed to having children. Anyway, I insisted on a DNA test during her pregnancy, so she had no choice but to consent. The unexpected discovery that the baby is mine suggests that my vasectomy may not have been successful.I apologized constantly for suspecting her of cheating but refused to acknowledge to having had the vasectomy.

She is now quite distant and considering divorce, claiming that I was more concerned with accusing her of infidelity than with the pregnancy. I’m not sure whether I should inform her about getting a vasectomy without her knowledge to explain why I assumed she had cheated. Will releasing this now make matters worse? How do we handle this, especially with a child on the way? I’m absolutely bewildered and need your advice on how to solve things.