My OIL frequently asks me to watch her two children from her previous marriage. The lads eat a lot. “Pay for the groceries,” It instructed her. She smirked.The same evening, I realized my credit card was missing. I confronted my oil. “I took your card,” she explained. “You must realize that I cannot always bring cash when I drop off the kids, so I felt this would be easier. I purchased groceries to reimburse you for the food.”
I was surprised by her response. She returned my credit card without offering an apology. Instead, she explained, “Look, I can’t keep paying for their lunches every time. “You’re their grandmother now, so this is part of the deal.” Her tone was disdainful, as if I should have expected the arrangement. I couldn’t believe what I heard. Yes, they are my step-grandchildren, but does that compel me to cover all of their expenditures simply because I babysit them?
I’ve always tried to be welcoming and supportive, especially because they’re still adjusting to their new family dynamic. But this felt different; it felt as if she was taking advantage of my generosity without respect for boundaries. Later that evening, I decided to bring it up with my son in the hopes that he would understand and take action. He dismissed my sentiments and fears, adding, “She didn’t mean any harm.”
Now, I’m overcome by a mix of emotions, including hurt, rage, and guilt. Did I overreact to the issue, or is it time to establish firmer limits with my oil? I need guidance on balancing self-respect and family connections in this difficult situation.