New family research supports what many people have long suspected: some parents favor one child above others. The study discovered that birth order, gender, and personality influence this choice. However, scientists believe the reasons for this are more nuanced than they appear, pointing to deeper psychological issues. Alex Jensen realized his children were squabbling more, so he listened to his 14-year-old daughter’s concerns. During their chat, she showed irritation, claiming that her parents always supported her younger brother.
Rather of disregarding her feelings, Jensen urged her to elaborate. She mentioned that when her brother offended her, their parents told her to “ignore him,” which just made her upset. Jensen, an associate professor at Brigham Young University, realized the significance of the event, according to the Washington Post. He recently led a study published by the American Psychological Association that looked into why parents prefer one child over another. The study discovered that gender, birth order, and personality all influence parental preference.
Jensen’s dilemma had a straightforward explanation: the age difference between his children. As he talked it with his daughter, she came to understand his point of view. However, he emphasized that such incidents might still make a child feel as if one sibling is given preferential treatment, which can have long-term consequences. Measuring favoritism within families Family research has shown that, while favoritism may appear difficult to define, professionals have devised methods to assess how parents treat their children differently.
“Very few studies will approach parents and ask, ‘Well, who is your favorite child?’ Parents are not going to respond to it. “They’ll say, ‘I don’t have one,'” he says. Instead of making broad assumptions, researchers gathered precise information. They questioned parents which child they argued with the most, who they spent the most time with, and who they showed more affection to. They also looked at whether one child received more financial support or more assistance with education, which provided a clearer picture of parental favoritism.
Researchers also asked children questions like, “Who does your parent spend more time with?” Jensen explained. The study revealed apparent patterns: parents admitted to favoring their daughters. However, children did not see it the same way, indicating a perception gap between parents and children, according to Jensen. “That one was surprising,” he remarked. “There are a couple of older studies that suggested that fathers are going to favor sons, and mothers are going to favor daughters, so that’s what we were expecting to find — but it turns out fathers favor daughters, too.”
The family study discovered that elder siblings frequently had greater freedom and independence. While this may seem logical given their maturity, researchers wanted to determine if the trend carried over into adulthood. Jensen said that it does—not only during childhood and adolescence, but also as adults, elder siblings have more freedom from their parents. Meanwhile, the study discovered that a child’s personality can affect favoritism. Jensen also stated that more pleasant children—those who easily follow directions—are more likely to receive favorable attention from parents.
Similarly, those who are accountable and conscious of their activities are more likely to be rewarded. Researchers examined data from over 19,000 participants in North America and Western Europe. The meta-analysis included findings from 30 published research and 14 unpublished datasets. Long-term consequences and going forward Jensen stressed that children who feel underprivileged frequently confront significant obstacles. They are more prone to feel anxiety or depression, struggle academically, and engage in risky behaviors.
Some studies even imply that they are less likely to attend college or be content with their adult lives. Meanwhile, children who receive more positive attention from their parents have better mental health, perform better in school, and are more likely to pursue higher education. Megan Gilligan, an associate professor at the University of Missouri, emphasized that partiality affects not only the parent-child dynamic, but also sibling relationships.
These ties are critical during adolescence, as early family patterns can influence interactions far into adulthood. Jensen found that favoritism is more common than many people realize, often lasting into one’s 60s. Recognizing its ubiquity allows families to reflect on their relationships without feeling defensive. He urged parents to be cautious of how they treat their children and to address issues if a child believes something is unfair. Rather than discounting their feelings, he highlighted the value of open interactions that help youngsters understand family dynamics.
Above all, Jensen cautioned against parental guilt. Many parents suffer with self-blame for their actions, but guilt is rarely beneficial. “All parents make errors. So, focus on growth while attempting to leave the guilt behind,” he stated. Prodigy Parents explains how favoritism affects children and how to deal with it.