I requested my mother to help me care for my newborn so that I could return to work when my leave was up. Mind you, my mother is 64, has been a homemaker/stay-at-home mom since 1992, and has not worked since then. She rejected, saying she was too old and had already reared her children. She further added that if I really wanted this baby, I should have considered remaining at home like she did to care for it while my partner went to work and provided for us like a “traditional” family, and that if she and my father could work it out, so can we.

My spouse and I cannot make ends meet on a single wage. I, as the primary breadwinner, feel an internal obligation to return to work since not only do I have the most at stake, but I also earn the most to keep our family viable. We are now living in a modest, one-bedroom apartment in a metropolitan region and would need to save money to move to a two-bedroom apartment once the baby is older in a few years, since we will require more space.

When I mentioned it to my mother, she said she’d charge me $20 per hour for each hour she cared for the kid, plus late penalties if we were late for pickup. To compensate for taking the baby to her place, we must equip her with a carseat, stroller, bottles, and nearly double of everything we have at home. I want to save money to pay down our debt, and I don’t want to pay her or spend as much in double of everything because it will lead to additional debt for me and my spouse.

I’m on the fence about enrolling my baby in an infant daycare instead because the cost will be lower and closer to our home. We are unable to work from home due to our employment, so we want daycare urgently. Everyone else in our family works full-time and cannot assist us because they follow a similar 9-5 routine. So, am I so horrible for asking my mother, who is at home all day (believe me, she does nothing except watch TV and cook meals), to look after my daughter for free while my partner and I work to improve our finances?