“My husband works five days a week and only takes a shower on weekends. I’ve noted that he starts to smell around midweek, but he just says he’s too exhausted after work.” They’ve been married for around a year and a half. She didn’t take it seriously at first. She rarely observed his routine because they had conflicting work patterns (she worked mornings and he worked nights). When she began working from home a few months later, she discovered that he only showers once a week. Still, he didn’t smell and changed his clothing every day, so she let it go at first.
However, it gradually became bothersome to her, particularly at night. She tried to drop hints, such as proposing a nice shower owing to the weather, but he never replied. His concept of hygiene was to wash his face every morning, and despite the fact that she showers every day, she was concerned that criticizing his habits would be inappropriate.
Things became more harder when he started working a physically demanding day job. He returned home sweating but did not shower. “It grossed me out,” she said. But it wasn’t until she became pregnant that she addressed the issue directly.
“I told him I might be extra sensitive during pregnancy, but asked him to shower at least three times a week.” She highlighted the need of hygiene for both her own comfort and the baby’s health. He surprised me by agreeing. She felt relieved and wished she had spoken up sooner. Her husband was loving and supportive during her pregnancy and after the baby was born.
However, after things settled down, he resumed his old habits. After lengthy workdays, he would return home sweaty, change his clothes, and pick up his newborn without showering. “It made me cringe.” “I was concerned about germs and bacteria that could harm the baby.”
It wasn’t just the regularity with which he took showers; he also had obvious body odor. “His hair was greasy, and even his one weekly shower couldn’t mask the sweat.” She confronted him one night. After venting her long-held emotions, she referred to him as “gross” and “disgusting.” He was stunned, and she immediately regretted the harshness of her words.
To her surprise, he maintained that he had never adjusted his hygiene practice or promised to shower more often. This made her question her memories and wonder whether she had imagined his agreement. She reminded him of their earlier chat while in tears, but he denied it. He exited the room as she wept herself to sleep with their baby.
After reflecting, she realized she may have misunderstood. He’d been cleaning himself with alcohol rather than showering, as a means of meeting her halfway. They both apologized. When she asked why he doesn’t shower more often, he replied unexpectedly: “I don’t want to wash off my manliness.” She was left stunned.
She has been more straightforward. She insists he shower at least three times weekly due to the smell. Yet he continues to dismiss her, claiming exhaustion from work. Things reached a breaking point when she saw his shirt covered in dirt and flakes of dead skin. “This isn’t just about the smell,” she told him. “This is a health issue.” Still, he dismissed her concerns and went to bed.