I know, pregnancy is difficult. At first, I felt really thrilled for her. When she complained of nausea, I offered to pick up her lunch. I didn’t mind picking up her reports from the printer or covering a meeting now and then. We’re all going through things, right? I assumed it was just a temporary change.

But then my pregnant teammate began transferring her assignments to me with the note: “Would you mind helping? “Baby brain today!” That sentence started appearing virtually daily. I implored her to stop, but she laughed, saying, “You’ll understand when you’re pregnant.”

I was stunned. I did not answer and departed. And, little did I know, things were about to get even worse. The next day, I stepped into the workplace and froze. My pregnant coworker occupied my desk. She smirked and replied, “I’m sorry, but I need the extra space. This is closer to the window and more comfortable for me; I moved since I feel nauseous.”

I could not handle it anymore. When she went for lunch, I snuck over to her new desk and left a sticky note on her keyboard: “Please meet me after work.” This is not okay.”

She never showed up. Instead, she emailed our manager and accused me of being “passive-aggressive.” I am not heartless. But there’s a difference between wanting help and manipulating others. She crossed it repeatedly. I want to be kind, but I am not a doormat.

It is not limited to one workstation or task. It’s about setting boundaries in the workplace. It is about being professional. Later that week, HR summoned me, and my pregnant coworker was also there. I expected a quiet discussion.

But my mouth fell when HR informed me that my “tone” had been disrespectful and documented. That my sticky note caused a colleague to “feel unsafe and upset.” That I should be more compassionate, especially “during such a sensitive time in a woman’s life.” I sat there, speechless. When I returned to my workstation (which I had been forced to relocate “temporarily”), I saw something even worse: no one was talking to me.

My coworkers, who I used to enjoy lunch with, started avoiding me. One even stated gently, “You should not have disturbed her. “She’s pregnant, you know.” Just like that, I became the evil guy. I’m being compelled to apologize to my pregnant coworker. Am I actually the bad guy here?