Currently, your dating life may be confined to your freshman year of college, coworkers, or the limitations you’ve set for yourself on Tinder. However, if you are dissatisfied with your current dating pool, or if you feel stuck or misunderstood, it may indicate that you are meant to be with someone older. Going up a few (or many) years in your dating life may not only increase your possibilities, but it may also introduce you to someone who seems like a better fit. But remember that age isn’t everything.
“What you need to do is ask yourself what you want out of a relationship and let that be your guide,” psychotherapist and radio personality Dr. Joshua Klapow tells Bustle. “There are many older men and women who are chronologically older but lack the social, emotional, intellectual, and intimate maturity you seek.” So seeking for indications of’maturity’ or ‘experience’ is usually a better way to assess if you need someone else.
If you’re frustrated by everyone else’s online antics, or if you’re having problems connecting with younger coworkers, maturity could be exactly what you need. Allow yourself some wiggle room and extend your search to include those you might have previously considered as too “old”. They’ll most likely bring a range of fantastic characteristics to the table, which will be a refreshing change from what you’re used to. Continue reading for some evidence that this is exactly what you should do.
1. You are over drama. While dating someone older does not guarantee a lack of drama — drama may occur at any age — it may increase your chances of finding a spouse who can regulate their emotions. “Older [partners] are typically past the point of game-playing because they’ve hopefully already been in a serious relationship and have learned how to be vulnerable,” says author and life coach Kali Rogers. That can be extremely rejuvenating. To buy, go here.
2. You are drawn to persons with histories. Dating an older person usually implies being with someone who is already married or has children. So, if that doesn’t bother you — or if it appears to be a benefit — it may be a great collaboration. However, Rogers warns that situations like these might breed envy, so make sure you’re alright with exes and the like before joining in.
3. You have always had an elderly soul. If you’re browsing through Tinder and feeling like everyone is so much younger than you, it may be time to extend your dating age range to include someone a little more established in life. “If you aren’t quite fitting in with your peers because of differences in interests, you are probably meant to date someone from a different generation,” Mr. Rogers says.
4. You’ve had a lot of life experience. If your life experiences have caused you to mature quickly, you may feel more at ease with someone who has gone through the same thing. “For example, someone who has been on their own earlier than usual,” says Dr. Venessa Marie Perry, a relationship specialist. “The woman who leaves home early, whether by choice or necessity, will be more mature and seek an older partner.”