Wife bans in-laws from delivery room unless husband goes to dad’s colonoscopy.

My mother-in-law wishes to be present when I give birth. She is a rude and obnoxious woman, and none of her own daughters have let her near them when they were pregnant. My in-laws are all at least twelve years older than my spouse and have all had children. I am my mother-in-law’s last chance to witness the birth of a grandson.

I have no intention of letting that judgmental old lady see me down there. She has always been against me since I have tattoos and am not interested in being a stay-at-home wife. I have a lot of tattoos and a job that I intend to continue. And I have tattoos down there that she has no business knowing about.

My husband is her son. He is a decent husband who has frequently defended me against her. He put his foot down when she tried to disrupt our wedding. When she tried to persuade him that we should go to his hometown where he could work but I would be unable to find work in my field, he refused since my profession is essential to me. While we can live off of his salary and the cost of living in his hometown is cheaper, our combined incomes are far higher.

She has begun crying to him, expressing her desire to see a grandchild born. Her pals have all had it, and she wants it. He’s beginning to crack under her emotional coercion. So I made it clear that the only way I would accept was if my husband made plans for my father to accompany him to the colonoscopy before the birth. He’d need a ride anyhow, so it’s like killing two birds with one stone.

He thought I was being foolish, but I told him that none of my brothers would let my father watch them getting a camera jammed up their back ends, and he felt left out. He finally got it, but his mother is unhappy since I used such a ridiculous comparison. She claims that it is not the same thing. I offered to see her have a Brazilian wax instead, but she hasn’t phoned in a week. I understand that seeing a baby’s birth may be her goal, but I am not interested.

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