‘My (24F) husband (31M) requested a paternity test, which came up positive, but our marriage was never the same.’ My (24F) husband (31M) and I have three children; our sons are identical to him (black skin, dark eyes, and dark hair), but our daughter is not. She looks just like my great-grandparents (very pale, blonde, and green-eyed), but he allegedly didn’t think it was conceivable that our kid could look like my great-grandparents, and he informed me he wanted a paternity test the soon he saw her.

I initially declined because it felt embarrassing and because I didn’t believe it was necessary because I had never cheated on him and I hoped he would trust me, but he didn’t and he made my life terrible for the first two months of our daughter’s life. He didn’t want to hold her even if she was crying hysterically while I was doing something else, he never woke up in the middle of the night to help me with her, he never helped me with anything, and that hurt me so much because he was completely different with our boys.

He was always there for me after giving birth and helped me with everything, but this time he left me alone, and it was the worst experience of my life. I have no family here, and his entire family turned their backs on me the instant they saw my kid. I also have no friends here, so it was just my daughter and me. She is a colicky baby, so it was challenging for me to do everything on my own while still caring for our sons.

I chose to take the paternity test after his entire family came to our house to celebrate my son’s birthday and no one spoke to me and they refused to include my daughter in the photos that my in-laws took of all the grandchildren. So I knew it was pointless to keep waiting for them to wake up.The paternity test came back positive, and everyone was astonished, and they felt bad for not believing in me.

Everyone apologized, and my husband even cried the first time he held our kid in his arms, and I know his apologies were real, which is why I forgave him, but I’m not sure I can forgive his family. They mistreated me and said nasty things about me just a few days after I gave birth, and I will never forget their insults or violence.

My husband knows I don’t want to see his family or have them near any of our children, so he told his family, so for the last three months it’s been just the five of us, but it’s not as fantastic as I imagined. My husband is continually apologizing and crying whenever he holds our daughter, and I’m sick of it. I want us to be as content as we were before. So, how should we proceed? My husband suggested we begin couples therapy; how much can therapy help?