A shout-out in your AIM profile used to be a great way to make your teen friendship stronger. It’s pretty clear that the comfort we get from being able to clearly label our relationships—something that can often feel so uncertain and be communicated poorly—is a result of the rise of “Facebook official” and selfie statuses. It’s now more normal than ever to post a lot about your relationship (and life).

You can’t prove it happened if it’s not public. You might want to share the parts of your life that you think are important to record on social media if you think of it as the modern equivalent of a town square. This is where announcements are made, information is posted, and communities come together over shared experiences. The point is to share the best parts. The idea is that we can share parts of our lives that people who aren’t close to us would normally not be able to see. There’s nothing wrong with this.

But social media adds another level of complexity because it is part of who we are, how connected we are, and how much we value ourselves. We can put together a picture of who we are, measure how much other people love and see us, and finally start to figure out and compare where we stand socially. Why should it be a surprise that we become hooked on the thrill of all the clicks and pixels? Because the things that social media stands for—identity, connection, and natural worth—are problems that are deeply rooted in the human situation.

If you want to know how someone wants other people to see them, just look at how they use social media. When it comes to their closest relationships, this is truest (and most interesting, to be honest). Being proud of your partner and telling everyone about them is normal and even healthy. However, there is a clear link between how happy you are with your relationship and how often you post about it. This is because of these things.

It has been found that people who use social media less are generally happier. People say they are much happy when they don’t use Facebook for a week. The social comparison theory says that too much time spent on social media can lead to depression. A lot of time spent on social media is also often linked to poor mental health. It goes on and on. It’s important to remember that the beast’s behavior isn’t good for our minds or hearts. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that it would also affect how we interact with each other.