When talking about their mothers-in-law, some people use the nicest phrases and sentiments and only express good emotions. However, some people refer to their MILs as “monster-in-law,” and there is a reason for this. This happened to today’s heroine, a 33-year-old woman who had high hopes for her future relationship with her husband’s mother. However, her illusions were dashed when she went to supper with her mother-in-law.
Anna, 33, submitted a letter to our editorial that included a remark at the beginning. The woman stated, “I am afraid of my mother-in-law, but my husband thinks I am overreacting. I need some feedback on whether other people would feel the same way in my circumstance.”The woman stated, “I and my husband Geff have been married for three years.
This is not his or my first marriage. I am divorced and have a daughter, five, from a prior marriage. Geff is also divorced. While my husband knows everything there is to know about my prior marriage and why I ended it, I know very little about his past relationship. I have never asked that he tell me anything in detail, however. Now I understand why he has always been mute on the subject: his ex-wife ran away from him because of his mother. But let me tell you my story from the beginning.”
Anna stated, “My husband’s mother’s name is Stella, and she is 55. Geff is her only son. Our relationship has been pretty seamless since the beginning. When I first saw her, I didn’t get the impression that she was rejecting me; instead, she was pleasant, friendly, and genuinely smiled all the way to me. I assumed this was the start of a great and friendly relationship with her. And now I see how stupid I was to think that.”
Anna continues her story, noting, “Stella has always been a doting mother to Geff.” When we visited her, she would show me his childhood photos dozens of times and tell me stories about Geff, which I already knew by heart. I never stopped her, and I wasn’t troubled by hearing the same stories over and over. I thought it was great for Geff to have such a loving mother, and I saw nothing wrong with their connection.
Stella’s attitude, however, quickly irritated Anna. She explained, “I’m currently 5 months pregnant. Stella was overjoyed when we revealed our pregnancy and kept telling us how much she already adored her grandson. Yes, she claimed that the baby is a boy, and Geff and I were so unconcerned about the gender that we even asked our doctors not to inform us, because we wanted this to be a surprise even for ourselves.”
The future grandma wanted their kid to be a boy, and she even wanted to name him after her own son. Anna wrote: “Stella insisted on two things. She insisted that the kid be a boy (as if we could influence this) and that the baby be named Geff; no other name would be acceptable to her. This was a big flag for me that she was overly curious and possessive about our unborn child, but I didn’t make a scene and kept it quiet.”
Anna admitted, “One day, MIL and I went out to dinner. Geff and my father-in-law were attending a performance together. I should explain that my MIL and FIL are from out of state and were staying with us for a few days. Stella has always been intense, and she is not shy about expressing her feelings for Geff. I believe she translated this feeling onto our unborn child, which is why she wanted it to be a male and named Geff.
The dinner went completely wrong. The woman said, “Well, after dinner after three cups of herbal tea, MIL looks at me and says, ‘If you ever break my son’s heart, I will do something to you that you will remember for the rest of your life. I mean it. Geff’s father will, too. “We already know how to deal with women who have hurt our boy.”
Anna added, “I was so surprised that she said this after three years together and seeing how solid our relationship is (since she mentioned in another chat, ‘I couldn’t have wished for a finer wife for my kid. “You two are a perfect match and so blessed.”Anna writes, “Unfortunately, I was so surprised that I did not answer as I had hoped and instead babbled on about not needing to be concerned.
I told Geff about it later, and to my amazement, he wasn’t shocked or even astonished. I couldn’t believe the tone Stella used, and it did seem like a threat. But my spouse remained calm about the issue, advising me to relax and focus on our kid first.” Anna admitted, “Now I understand that there was something wrong with Geff and his ex-wife’s relationship, something wrong on the part of my mother-in-law.
Perhaps she intervened in their relationship in a similar way, and Geff’s ex-wife was as terrified as I am now. Anyway, I genuinely want my mother-in-law to be less involved in our lives, and I’m even considering denying her access to our baby. I have a gut feeling, an instinct, that she might do something horrible to me and the baby. Do you think I am overreacting?”