Men typically commit infidelity for reasons unrelated to the person with whom they are in a relationship, such as low self-esteem. Men betray because they use sex to legitimize themselves. For whatever reason, he doesn’t feel connected to his girlfriend, so he seeks attention and connection from someone else, according to relationship expert Nicole Richardson.
Some guys struggle to express their wants and feelings in partnerships. “They may not know how to tell their partner that they don’t feel valued, needed or seen,” according to Richardson. Some guys would intentionally end a relationship rather than discussing their needs because they believe that opening up will imply they have something to lose. “There are also those who fear commitment, and when they find themselves feeling very vulnerable with a woman, they can use infidelity to push her away,” she tells us.
According to Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a psychologist located in Colorado, you can typically tell when a male is experiencing these negative emotions in a relationship because he loses energy and exhibits certain depression symptoms. However, it is not their partners’ responsibility to do the job of bringing their difficulties to light. In a relationship, a man’s true thoughts are only known to himself.
Richardson believes that while it is impossible to avoid cheating in a relationship, there are measures to discourage it. (It’s important to note that even if someone does everything they can to avoid cheating in their relationship, it’s not their fault if it happens. Regardless of how many safeguards you take, your partners’ decisions remain their own responsibility.
“Even when things aren’t going well, it is important to make sure your partner knows that you appreciate what they are bringing to the table,” according to Richardson. “People often become vulnerable to an affair when someone outside of the relationship seems to be appreciating them when their partner may be preoccupied with other things that go on in life.”
According to Richardson, spending quality time together and connecting by scheduling time to laugh and listen to one another, hold hands, and share can help a couple avoid drifting apart. Of course, for the relationship to function, both partners must be willing to invest this level of closeness. Cheating is never the victim’s responsibility.
According to Dr. Fisher, if a guy begins to feel that he is not receiving enough attention or sexual contact in his relationship, he should discuss it with his partner so that they can understand what is generating this pattern and how to change it. “Couples need to recognize their relationship is like a plant,” Dr. Fisher adds. “If you water it, give it adequate sunlight, and enrich the soil, it will flourish. Conversely, if you ignore it, it will suffer and eventually perish.”
Rather than criticizing spouses, Dr. Fisher believes that men who are dissatisfied in their relationships should examine how they may be contributing to the cycle of infidelity. “For example, perhaps he’s frustrated by the lack of sexual contact in the relationship, yet he’s not nurturing the emotional connection, which is why his wife feels less open sexually,” she says.
Rather than acting on the temptation to cheat, a person in a relationship must accept responsibility for their feelings by discussing them with their partner and attempting to resolve them if they want to keep the relationship. If they do not want to work on a relationship, terminating it gracefully and acknowledging that it is due to their own inadequacies eliminates emotional betrayal and keeps you from being hounded by feelings of guilt or a tarnished reputation that is difficult to recover from.