It wasn’t long ago that married couples would sleep in separate beds or even bedrooms. This rather unusual arrangement may perplex us today, as we commonly equate a shared bed with closeness and togetherness in a marriage. However, there were a variety of historical and cultural causes for this practice, which provided light on the changing dynamics of marriage and societal expectations.’
Modesty and Social norms. One of the key reasons married couples used to sleep in separate beds was for modesty and obedience to society norms. Many communities, notably in the 18th and 19th centuries, held conservative attitudes on physical closeness and saw it as a personal concern. Sharing a bed was frequently regarded as overly revealing or inappropriate, thus couples maintained separate sleeping arrangements to protect their reputation and modesty.
Health and Hygiene Concerns. Historically, there were genuine worries about health and hygiene, which influenced the practice of sleeping separately. There was concern about infections or parasites spreading through shared beds in a period when frequent bathing and clean bedding were not as common as they are now. Sleeping separately was thought to limit the danger of infection and promote good health.
Social Status and Space. Sleeping separately was frequently interpreted as a symbol of privilege and social standing among the wealthy. Affluent families could afford larger homes with many bedrooms, allowing couples to have separate sleeping areas. Separate bedrooms were viewed as a symbol of prosperity and personal privacy, as opposed to sharing a single bed.
Practical Reasons. Practical concerns also contributed to married couples sleeping separately. Snoring partners, varying sleep habits, and restless sleepers may make shared beds uncomfortable. Having separate beds or bedrooms allowed for greater sleep quality and fewer disruptions, which improved general well-being. Victorian morality During the Victorian era (19th century), characterized by stringent moral rules and morals, the separation of married spouses at night was emphasized even more.
The Victorian middle and upper classes frequently pushed the concept of “separate spheres” for men and women, with men working outside the home and women focusing on domestic responsibilities. Sleeping apart was interpreted as a reflection of these gender roles, strengthening the notion that men and women had different spheres of influence.
Changing Social Norms. Throughout the twentieth century, societal conventions developed, as did the habit of married couples sleeping separately. Sleeping in separate beds went out of favor as the women’s liberation movement gained traction and attitudes around intimacy shifted. This transition was influenced by a cultural shift that prioritized emotional connection and companionship in marriage over rigid gender roles and societal expectations.