“She’s just so pretty,” my friend said, his confidence waning. She was threatened by a new female who was hanging out with the guy she was dating. It broke my heart. I squirmed as I struggled to think of the perfect phrases to text back. For starters, there are an abundance of intelligent and beautiful people in the world. A guy or girl is drawn to a romantic interest for more than just his or her appearance. But it isn’t what matters.
It’s not really about who you date. Self-esteem originates from within. So I responded totally and honestly: “So are you.” She’s a stunning babe both inside and out. I could only answer, “Who cares if the other woman is really pretty?” She is a beautiful woman, as is my friend. Women (and men) have stopped accepting compliments sometime along the way, owing to politeness, Photoshop, and our innate desire to categorize the world in order to better understand ourselves. Instead, we’ve developed unusual attractiveness standards.
We have all been there. We’ve compared ourselves to our peers, opponents, siblings, current selves, and prior selves. We’ve compared ourselves not only to strangers, but also to people’s shallow ideals filtered through television, social media, and magazines. People follow me online because I’m a blogger and professional Instagrammer.
Travel taught me to appreciate the beauty in our differences. Here are some thoughts for the 13-year-old I met in Abu Dhabi, my girlfriends turning 40, the confident women of all ages and sizes who are letting it all hang out in body paint at Fantasy Fest, and the elementary-school Dominican girls I met who petted my smooth hair (which isn’t much different from their own afro-curls): I’m pretty, and you are, too.
1. Beauty is subjective. Many people think you are gorgeous, regardless of your appearance. 2. It doesn’t matter how many others think you’re lovely if you don’t believe so yourself. 3. You should feel beautiful because no matter how many mistakes we make, how our bodies change, or how awful other people can be, we can be beautiful if we want to be.
4. Some claim that attractiveness fades. They are wrong. Beauty is eternal. Perhaps our skin, hair, and shape will change, but they have no bearing on our true attractiveness. 5. Your attractiveness reflects your zest for life. The enjoyment you bring to yourself spills over into the lives of others, making them happier (and better people as well).
6. Being and feeling gorgeous is an option. It’s so easy to adore nine aspects of ourselves while focusing solely on one. Everyone experiences low moods at times, but we must choose whether to preserve or change the people, habits, and priorities that make us happy and attractive. 7. Beauty is not determined by whether you enjoy or dislike makeup, fashion trends, or high heels. Certain styles may or may not appeal to you. It has nothing to do with how attractive you are.
8. Accept the comment, but try to compliment younger boys and girls on their character rather than their attractive eyes, lovely grins, or well-dressed appearance. 9. Consider what makes you feel beautiful, and do those things more frequently. I enjoy matching my clothing with my mother and doing stuff together. I learned that it wasn’t the fun of getting dressed up that made me feel beautiful. It was because I was doing something with someone I adored. In particular, I was doing something to make her happy. Making the people I care about happy makes me feel attractive.
10. What makes you feel beautiful? Rather of trying after someone else’s ideal, take responsibility for defining what being attractive means to you. You are more than just pretty; you are stunning. Never allow anyone make you feel less than that. Don’t let yourself bring you down.