An exhausted mother was not ready to have guests over for a meal after giving birth to her first child, but she agreed to have her husband’s family over so they could finally see their baby. When she asked her Asian husband if they could just order takeout, he insisted on her cooking anything. The exhausted mother made mac and cheese for her in-laws, thinking it would suffice. However, when she served it, she was taken aback by their reaction.
“When I finished serving the family, my husband’s mother was shocked. Something was wrong, I realized. She inquired whether I thought it was “appropriate” to serve Mac and cheese to her and her family. “When I asked why, she went on a rant about how disrespectful this was and how I clearly have no idea what is right and wrong when it comes to hosting.
“Excuse me?” I asked. Who said I agreed to host an expected visit from them, and she misinterpreted it to mean I didn’t want them there? Her husband stated that they were only there to see the baby that I had kept them from seeing for an entire month. That’s a whole month of his life they “lost.” “We had an argument, and they decided to go home,” the new mom continued. My husband stated that serving Mac and cheese to his family was more offensive than serving nothing at all.”
“I told him I was too tired to cook their “traditional feasts,” which I had to learn from his mother. He took offense and accused me of being cruel and disrespectful to not only his family but also to his culture. I went into my son’s bedroom to be with him. “My husband spent an hour on the phone with his family, then gave me the cold shoulder and refused to eat what I cooked in support of his family.”
“I understand how some guests, particularly his family, might find it offensive,” she added. But I was just trying to prepare a quick homemade meal for my husband. “What’s the deal with Mac and cheese?” People on Reddit were quick to share their thoughts on the matter, with one person writing: “I’m Asian and if anything, it’d be my relatives coming over and bringing me food. Nobody would expect a tired new mother to prepare a full meal.”
“He is being unsupportive in such a vulnerable time as the postpartum period, and he went behind OP’s back to invite his parents and not even tell her in advance,” wrote another. The messy house was his fault, as was the failure to prepare a meal. Personally, I couldn’t get over the way my husband treated me. I’d have to leave if he didn’t agree to counseling.”