Wife: Please help me clean up the garden, honey.Husband: Do I look like a gardener to you? Wife: “I apologize, honey. Okay, let me fix the bathroom door.” Husband: Does it appear that I am a carpenter? The husband then leaves. When he returns from his trip, he finds that the door has been repaired and the garden has been cleaned.

Father: “I knew my wife would handle this on her own.” Wife: That’s not me. Spouse: So, who? Wife: Our neighbor. Spouse: What amount did you pay him? Wife: “He just offered me to give him bread or… you know what!”

Spouse: I hope you gave him bread. Wife: Do I look like a bakery to you?