1. They always come up to you without giving you a title. You and your partner might run into each other while out on the town. There might not be any thought for the future if they only call you by your name and don’t give you a title. Titles do matter, even if they don’t seem important. “When you are given a title, you put yourself in a certain group,” says Dr. Saudia L. Twine, Ph.D., NCC, LLPC, LLMFT, a marriage and family therapist.
“If you move from friend to [partner] it shows you are special and requires separation from others.” If this keeps happening, let your partner know that you want to take things to the next step. If they’re serious about the relationship and you, they’ll be happy to get serious about jobs too.
2. They don’t include you in family events. Early on in the relationship, you might not expect to be asked to holiday parties or family reunions. But at some point, you should start going to these events together. If you keep getting left behind without a good reason, pay attention, because it may mean something more. “People who think long-term look forward to introducing you to their family,” adds Twine. “They want their family and loved ones to get a sense of who you are and if you are right for them.”
Talk about it and ask what’s going on if it bothers or worries you. You could also welcome them to family events, introduce them to your friends, and include them in your wider group of people you know. When they see that you’re dedicated, it can make things easier for them, and they might do the same.
3. They don’t take the chance to live with you. You and your partner might start to think about moving in together after a while. You and your partner have the chance to join your lives, but your partner turns it down. “[Their] lease is up, and they move in with a roommate instead of you,” says Bonnie Winston, a relationship and star matchmaker. “Or [they take] an apartment alone.”
You might be worried about the future of your relationship because of this, but it could just be because you haven’t talked about it. It would mean a lot to you to move in with your partner. Have you talked about it? If not, they might not have thought about it. You should talk about this right away, though, because it could mean the other person isn’t serious about the relationship.
4. They keep missing the best chances to commit. Any day of the year, someone can ask their partner to marry them. However, “if you have been with your partner a number of years and they know you want to get married, but they do not give you a ring for your birthday, Valentine’s Day, or New Year’s, which is often the time someone might propose, it is a good chance that they are not going to ask you to marry them,” spiritual advisor and psychic Davida Rappaport tells Bustle
Funny as it may seem, it can be very painful to watch these times go by with no sign of their undying love when you want to be with someone for a long time. But remember that offers don’t have to come as a surprise. Tell your partner that you want to make things legal if you’re deeply in love with them. It’s also fine to move on and find someone else if they can’t get on board.
5. People get off track when you ask them about the future. Let’s say you and your partner have had a talk and they know you want to be together for a long time. They keep giving reasons why they can’t move in together, get married, or make a promise to each other.
It’s possible that you and they aren’t on the same page if they always find a reason not to go to the next level. “If your partner has a lot of reasons why they do not want to get married — I don’t have enough money, I am focusing on my career, or I don’t have job stability, etc. — some of those reasons, which may be logically sound, can be just an excuse because their fears are getting the better of them,” Rappaport explains.
It might help to tell them that they can do both, like getting married and having a job. It can also help to give them time and space to think things out. You don’t have to wait for that, though, if you don’t want to.