It’s no surprise that although we live in a society women have come a long way in the world of business, leadership, ministry and beyond, the old mindset of a “woman’s work is in the home” is undoubtedly still clung to by some… One of these people is dad blogger Clint Edward’s own mother.
On Clint’s Facebook page, “No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog,” he speaks candidly with his followers about a phone conversation he recently had with his mom about the “tidiness” of his wife— or lack thereof!
She asked. “Doesn’t it bother you that Mel won’t keep a cleaner house?” Despite knowing her intent was not to be condescending or hurtful, Clint couldn’t help but be taken aback a bit.
The man said during an awkward pause in conversation “I didn’t really know how to respond to my mother, so I floundered,” . “I never really know what to say in moments like this.”
But after he carefully considered how to respond in a truthful way that would respect the two women he loved most in this world, his mother was left speechless. After being picked up by Love What Matters, the simple but powerful reply of this daddy blogger has since been shared thousands of times by couples who can relate all too well.
“A few weeks ago I was chatting with my mother over the phone when she said, “Doesn’t it bother you that Mel won’t keep a cleaner house?” It was a Saturday. I was working on the dishes. I honestly didn’t know what to say. My mother didn’t say it in an antagonist way or anything. It was more out of curiosity.
She’d obviously noticed that our home wasn’t all that tidy. Not that it was only Mel’s job to clean it. I see our marriage as a partnership, so cleaning is as much my responsibility as it is hers. I will admit, though, there is often kid clutter, dishes in the sink, and half-finished art projects on the counters. I will also admit, it isn’t as clean as my mother’s home, but that doesn’t bother me. In fact, I don’t really think about that at all.
I didn’t really know how to respond to my mother, so I floundered. I never really know what to say in moments like this. But thinking back, I believe my mother’s perception of our house really reflects the era she grew up in.
She’s part of the baby boom generation. I didn’t know my father all that well, but I do remember him giving me this advice about picking a wife: “Stop by her house unexpectedly. See how it looks in there. You can tell a lot about a woman by how she keeps her house.” I think my mother’s concern over a clean house has a lot to do with her trying to meet the expectations of her youth.
But the thing is, unlike my father, I didn’t really think about a clean house when I married my wife. I thought about how I liked what she had to say. I thought about how she made me feel. I thought about how she smiled a lot. I liked that.
I was thinking about how nice and considerate she was, and how she seemed like the kind of mother I’d want for my kids. “I didn’t enter into this marriage for a spotless house,” I finally remarked after a few moments of straining to find the proper words. I got into it because she appeared to be someone with whom I might spend the rest of my life.”
I put some dishes in the washer. Eventually, mom said. “Well…that probably is more important than a clean house.” “Yeah,” I said, “I think so too.” Do you think he is the husband of the year In his own wisdom, Clint reminds us all that pursuing a woman with a clean heart over a clean house is worth the toast crumbs on the counter any day of the week.